Endo, adeno and I

Amid moving, taking care of the trio, unpacking, and now a kitchen renovation (yay, but holy crap that's stress*&^#!!), I have been dealing with immense pain. The kind of debilitating pain that has me doubled over just to catch my breath.

I have a high pain threshold, but I'm telling you, if I didn't have kids to take care of, I'd have made several trips to the ER these past few months. I suspect a cyst ruptured the one night, because I was in even more pain than usual.

The pain comes on when I'm upright for more than 5 minutes, and I can only describe it as feeling like I'm in active labor. It literally feels as if my insides will fall out if I don't crouch down or lay down. Then, after being seated or stretching/twisting my body, it subsides long enough that I can function again, but the pain never goes away completely.

After decades of living in pain and just thinking it was completely normal, I was diagnosed with Endo in 2008 during a routine fertility workup. The RE who performed the surgery was shocked that it was actually stage 4. (There isn't always a correlation between pain level and the stage of Endo.) I consider myself very fortunate to have been pregnant and carried a triplet pregnancy.

Naïvely, I bought into the false hope that pregnancy would stall the growth of endo, and therefore ease the pain. It did go well for a while there, but the relief of the operative laparoscopy and pregnancy only lasted until a few months after the C-Section. It's been downhill ever since, with each month being more excruciating than the one that went before. Mostly, I've been too busy to take care of myself. Until I could ignore it no more.

I have pain from hip to hip, and from my ribs to my pubic bone. Sciatica-type pain in my legs from time to time, back pain, and constant nausea. The pain and nausea is very similar to what I dealt with prior to the laparoscopic surgery, which leads me to believe that I may have bilateral complex cysts and additional adhesions again. But this time, there's also an additional layer of pain I have never felt before.

On the day that we moved (crazyness!), I went to see a specialist. Just imagine, for a moment, the logistics that entailed. Me being able to sneak away while my husband and best friends continued loading the moving truck and took care of our kids.

The surgeon suspects that I have both endo and adenomyosis (that's when the lining of the uterus grows directly into the muscle wall of the uterus). I will be going for an MRI with contrast on Friday, and the surgery is scheduled for the end of the month. They wanted to do it a few days after my consult, but I needed to unpack and get the kids settled in our new house first.

I have no idea how I'm going to care for my kids after the surgery, but my kids' godmother (one of my closest friends in the world who should be considered for sainthood) has offered to care for them while I recover. She is an amazing parent and my children adore her and her family. They will have a blast, but I'm not quite sure how I'm going to remove myself from the party.

If the surgeon can't diagnose adenomyosis with the MRI, then I have the option of not undergoing a hysterectomy just yet, but having the adhesions resected again. If the MRI is positive for adenomyosis, then a hysterectomy is advised. Of course, I can choose to do nothing and continue the charade that I'm coping. I'm just really frustrated with the pain. It has worn me down to the point where I see no alternative.

I always enjoy reading every single comment, but if you struggle with endo or have had a hysterectomy, I'd definitely like to hear from you.

Are they or are they not? DNA Test Results Revealed

Proactive Genetics analyzed 15 standard DNA markers used in human identity and Julia and Emma matched on all 15. They are indeed monozygotic ("identical"). The probability of them being monozygotic is estimated at 99.9%.

I'm not quite sure why this feels so life affirming, but it does. Possibly because their behavior has always lead me to believe they could be identical, while their looks dissuaded me. It is such a relief to just know. To not guess, to not analyze, to not question.

We have always known that we were incredibly fortunate to have conceived triplets, to have safely carried all three until 32.6 weeks, to have three preemies with only minor health issues, and to have shared the past two and a half years with them.

What we didn't know, is just how infinitely blessed we were during IVF. We now know that only two of the embryos that were transferred actually implanted, and that one must have split. The split most likely occured a few hours after our Day 3 transfer.

The 3rd day after fertilization is the latest possible time that scientists say zygotes can divide and form separate chorions and amnions. Our girls were trichorionic, triamniotic, meaning each had their own placenta and amniotic sac.

Our triplets are therefore referred to as "polyzygotic" meaning two are monozygotic "identical", and one is dizygotic "fraternal."

We can now also definitively say that Julia and Emma are mirror identicals. About 25% of "identical" multiples mirror one another in terms of hair whorls and handedness. Only monozygotic multiples can be mirror images of one another, and they are amongst the most identical-looking of monozygotic multiples.

It is a tremendous feeling to have this insight into their conception. While we have always treated all 3 girls equally, it feels like this DNA test result has shed light on their natural way of being around one another, and interacting with one another. Julia and Emma seem to crave a physical proximity to one another, while Ada seems to need and seek space by herself. They love one another equally, and all take turns playing together. It will be amazing to watch their dynamic and relationships evolve as they grow. I feel like I now have a deeper understanding of how best to nurture each child.

Out of the mouths of babes

The kids make me laugh out loud a bazillion times a day with their witty observations and funny sayings. Sometimes they'll apply knowledge to a completely new circumstance with hilarious results. Or mispronounce something and be unintentionally funny.

They're also starting to say rather embarrassing things when we're out in public, which I'm sure will only intensify as the months go by.

Hooray for talkative 2-year olds. As you can tell by these quotes, it's been a lot of fun lately.

-- May sayings --

Ada's recap of a friend's 3rd birthday party, "I rode the roller toaster. Fast. Many times."

An older gentleman brought his granddaughter to the play area. Emma immediately noticed his black eyepatch and said (loudly), "The grandpa is wearing an eyepatch." I said, "Yes, yes, he is" while trying to think how best to respond and explain. Before I could get another word out, Julia shouts from across the play area, "He must be a pirate!"

Driving around the other day, Julia said to the oncoming traffic, "Truck, please give us space!" (She says this to her sisters when they bug her.)

We were admiring dogs at the dog park, when Emma looked at her sisters approvingly and said, "We're a pack of sisters." This one makes me feel all warm and fuzzy everytime I think of it.

Julia was batting her eyelids and said, "My eyes are feathering."

Ada, "Hooray! Mamma back from libwawy. New books. So 'cited (excited)." May it forever be this easy to bring joy to my children.

Julia is singing, "Little red caboose chug chug chug..." Emma says, "Julia, can you sing quietly?"

One of the little people passed gas. "Oh, that was a loud burp. Say 'scuse me!" says Julia to her sister, who shall remain unnamed.

Julia was pretend playing with a little plastic dinosaur and I overheard her say in a funny voice as if the dino is talking: "I'm a dinosaur. I can poop in the wild." We're not potty training yet, because I want to wait until after we move. However, there's been lots of conversations about animals and humans, and who does what where.

-- April sayings --

Trio in the bathtub filled with bubbles and Julia says, "Let's have a snowball fight!" I nixed the fun just as she smeared a handful of "snow" over Emma's face, and Ada simultaneously targeted Julia's eyes. Cue chaos!

Julia is jumping and falling in their play tent, surrounded by soft toys. I ask, "What are you doing?" She says, "I'm rocking and rolling" as she takes a tumble.

At bedtime, a friend asked Emma what she plans to dream about. "Old hat, new hat?" asks my friend, based on The Berenstain Bear book they just read. "Chocolate," answers Emma emphatically.

-- February --

Kids are waking up, chatting in the nursery. I'm standing in the hallway, just listening. I hear, "No way!" from Julia. "No way!" says Ada. "Yes way!" says Emma.

There have been many, many more, but I'm usually too busy to write them all down.

Identical vs. fraternal... continued

After that last post about Julia and Emma's similarities, I also want to point out how interesting it's been to watch Ada interact with her sisters. She knows who is who, she knows who sleeps in which bed, and which sippy cup belongs to which sister. She gets it right 99% of the time.

But every now and then, they'll all be running around, and she'll lose track of who she thought was where. Then she'll yell at Emma for taking her toy, while it was Julia, or vice versa. Emma usually prefers to sit in the back seat of the van, but the other day, she chose to sit up front with Ada. Ada is obviously used to having Julia next to her. Ada looks at Emma who has fallen asleep next to her, and says, "Julia is sleeping." I say, "Nope, that's Emma who is sleeping!" Poor Ada looks utterly confused and perplexed, and says, "There's so many Emmas!"

Now when we accidentally use the wrong name, we joke that there's so many Julias or Emmas. Please excuse my amusement at Ada's expense - it's just so darn cute.

In our defense, Julia will look at herself in the mirror, and say, "Hello, Emma!" or Emma will look at herself in a picture, and say, "That's Julia." Apparently sometimes they can't tell themselves apart either. When all three appear in a photo, everyone knows who is who. However,when I show them a photo of either Julia or Emma, all three of them will get it wrong 50% of the time. So clearly they're just guessing and don't really know.

I find all of this completely fascinating, because even if they're proven to be all fraternal, I do think Julia and Emma share a lot of the same DNA. My guess is that they could be mirror identicals, based on their opposite handedness and opposite hair swirls. Interestingly, their hemiparesis diagnoses is also opposite. Ons has a mild left hemi diagnosis and the other a mild right hemi diagnosis.

I've read that the gene expression can be about 5% different in identicals, and I'm always wondering if that is what accounts for their differences. I realize nurture and epigenetics play a role too. Although, given that they've been in the same environment since conception, I do not know how much weight to place on nurture being responsible for differences.

There are several factors that increase the likelihood of having identals. Not only were my eggs older when we completed our 2nd fresh IVF cycle, but we also had to do intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).

Interestingly, I also have two sets of twin cousins on my mother's side of our family, but it never crossed my mind that we could become parents to multiples. We were just trying so hard to conceive, that having multiples seemed like an impossibility. Having Higher Order Multiples seemed utterly farfetched.

We definitely hit the baby jackpot, but if it turns out that Julia and Emma are identical, I think it will just underscore how incredibly fortunate we were to have had these three amazing kids at all.

Are they or are they not?

We were told by ultrasonographers and neonatologists that our triplets are fraternal because they did not share placentas. Ever since their NICU days we have thought that Julia and Emma looked a lot alike. Although I've always been able to tell them apart, and they don't look truly identical to me, we have had strangers, family and friends comment on how much they look alike. It wasn't much more than a curiosity, though.

Emma's face is rounder than Julia's, which is more oval. Then I read about an OB who said that the face shape has no bearing on identicalness, because the space in the womb can alter that.

They both have birthmarks, but Ada does not.

And still people kept asking, and I kept shrugging it off. Although, for the first week they were both home, I kept their hospital bracelets on them. I was afraid I would mix them up in the middle of the night. Every once in a while, I'd come into the nursery after my husband or a friend had laid them down, and find the "wrong" kid in the "wrong" bed.

Then Emma and Julia would start doing uncanny things.

One day, Emma stubbed her toe right next to me while Julia was down the hallway in their bedroom. When Julia came running into the room a minute later, she told me that her toe hurts. She pointed to the exact same toe on the same foot.

Sometimes, they'd sit with their backs facing one another, and have the exact same expression on their faces. They find the same things funny, silly or sad, whereas Ada has a terrific, but completely different sense of
humor.

They'd master a new skill the same day while Ada was months ahead or behind, they'd repeatedly echo one another's sounds, while Ada would be off elsewhere in the room paying no attention.

For the longest time, I couldn't tell their cries apart, whereas Ada's cry was very distinct. They cut most of the same teeth on the same day or a day apart, whereas Ada's teething pattern was completely different.

Julia and Emma would lie curled up the same way, facing the same direction in bed at the same time, sound asleep.

I'd be walking them in their stroller and looking at their hair swirls. Their hair would naturally part in exactly the same spot but in opposite directions, while Ada's was curling in its own fancy way. The hair swirling actually makes me wonder about mirror twinning. I am so intrigued by this!

I'd often confuse them when looking at them from the side or behind. That still happens, but now they speak up! The other day, I called Emma's name at the park, and a little voice from right next to me said, "Mommy, that's Ju-hea. Emma's wight here." I often feel that I should just know intuitively who is who without looking, but sadly that has not been true when they're not facing me.

At the doctor's office, their weight and height once matched to the third decimal. I thought they had made a mistake entering it in the computer system, but then the nurses showed me where she wrote it down on the sheet where she weighed them.

We took them to the opthalmologist for their ROP screening when they were only a couple of months old. Ada was cleared by the NICU, but both Julia and Emma needed to go for follow-up. The opthalmologist said, "Now these two are identical, right?" And I answered, "Hmmm. No. They're fraternal." He looked at me quizzically, and said, "Because they both have the exact same unique corneal shape and astigmatism." So that got me thinking. Could they be identical after all?

I started finding articles that explained if the egg (zygote) split early enough (between day 0-3), multiples can develop to have separate placentas (chorions) and sacs (amnions). Our girls were trichorionic triamniotic, meaning they each had their own separate placenta and amniotic sac.

Suddenly, I remembered how an ultrasonographer had once commented - very early on - that they were fraternal, but that two almost looked like identicals because one sac was off by itself in one area of my uterus, while the other two were closely huddled together.

Often, we'd go to an ultrasound, and the two little beans in the sacs closest to one another, would be floating/lying the same way. We had different ultrasonographers comment on that over the course of my pregnancy, yet nobody ever mentioned the possibility that up to 30% of multiples in separate sacs are identicals.

To this day, how they were in utero, is how the triplet grouping has worked in our house. Ada is off in the corner of the room playing her own game, and Julia and Emma are sitting within two feet of one another, parallel playing the same game.

Julia and Emma always want whatever the other has (color, type of toy, everything has to match), while Ada insists on something different. I'd have sets of clothes that coordinate, and allow them to pick. Ada will pick, and then Julia and Emma will fight over the same outfit, even though there are 2 similar ones left. They almost always end up wearing the top of one outfit and the bottom of another and vice versa, by choice, so they can match instead of coordinate.

They find the same games and songs interesting, whereas Ada prefers to occupy herself with sorting and figuring out mechanical things. Ada is very analytical, whereas Emma and Julia are very creative. Ada will tidy up, while Julia and Emma prefer chaos. This creates huge amounts of frustration for everyone involved, including me.

Everytime we go somewhere, I am asked, "Are these two identical?" I always feel embarrassed to say that I don't know and only a DNA test can determine that definitively. After 2.5 years, I have finally decided to order a DNA test from Proactive Genetics. I ordered it online, and received a kit in the mail a few days later. Basically just 2 tubes with liquid in them, with a label on each with the kids' names. There were also 10 cotton swabs for each kid, but we only needed 8 per kid. We swabbed 2 left and 2 right on the inside of their cheek before dinner, and 2 left and 2 right each the next morning.

Now, if you have multiples and would like to have them tested, I suggest you do it before they're toddlers. Even though it doesn't hurt, I had to try every imaginable game in the book to get them to hold still long enough to swab them (3-5 seconds per swab). In the end, I was sweating and the extra swabs were strewn across the floor. Pinning down an uncooperative toddler is not for the fainthearted.

In about a week to 10 days, we should finally have an answer. Although there aren't any pending medical reasons to know, I am looking forward to just knowing, and being able to tell them the truth as they grow up.

Moving on

Our life has been a whirlwind the past few months. We were in search of a home to buy, and have finally found one we like. It's a fixer-upper, and we're currently waiting to hear which of the repairs the owners would be willing to make. We have a laundry list of issues that need to be fixed, but the good news is that everything is fixable. No foundation or other major structural issues. We like this house enough to deal with the repairs and updates.

The elementary school is one of a handful of blue ribbon schools in our state. We feel that it would be a great place to raise our kiddos.

Things haven't been quiet at our rental house. The owner decided to put it back on the market, so we are currently dealing with the logistical nightmare and invasion of our family's privacy with daily showings. Trying to keep a home "picked up" enough to show while chasing down 3 toddlers has been pretty stressful. I've just tried to put my kids' needs first, and not care about what strangers think. You grow a thick skin pretty quickly when you have triplets, and learn to deal with the stares and comments. Thankfully, the families who have come to view the property have been respectful.

On a few occasions now, the scheduling service has called me with less than an hour's notice. Bla. This morning I put my foot down, because it's such a disruption to work around potential buyers' schedules instead of around my kids' schedule.

All of the above pales in comparison to how challenging it's been to live in a rental home with young kids. Everything has just been a few degrees harder than it needs to be this past year. I can't wait to be able to bolt furniture down that can topple over (it's stored right now), to have all of the pieces of furniture back where it belongs and where I need it, to have closets and cupboards where I need it instead of having 75% of our belongings stored, and to have functioning appliances again. Most of all, I can't wait to get out of this split-foyer house where we have had to dance around one another - and the door - to get in and out of the house. Greeting guests and bringing groceries into the house has also been much harder than it would've been in pretty much any other home layout. Whomever designed the split-foyer floorplan should be punished.

I am really looking forward to not having steps where the foyer should be. To have room to not only swing the door open, but to be able to easily get around it with 3 little people. That alone will make our lives 100% easier.

I'm dreading the upcoming move itself, but very excited about the prospect of having a home of our own again.

28 Months - My head is spinning

Two quick stories, and then a more in-depth look at what life is like today, with 28-month old triplets.

The kids received a bird clock for Christmas, and when a bird chirps, on the hour, every hour, they'll say that it's, "breakfast time!" "reading time!" "snack time!" "bathtime!" or whatever it is they're busy doing. Yesterday, Ada was playing with a toy when her sister took it from her. She started to cry, and just then a bird chirped. Through her tears, she declared, "Birdie says it's crying time!" It's a day later, and I'm still laughing.

***

About a week ago, the kids were in their bedroom, waking up. All I heard was Emma talking. Then Julia said, "No way!" Ada said, "No way!" and Emma responded, "YES, WAY!" They crack me up daily.

***

Watching the communication between them, and their growing sisterhood, is just amazing. Sure, they'll try to whack one another over the head with a toy, pull a sister's hair, occasionally lean in for a bite, and exhibit all sorts of toddler behavior that is both typical and frustrating. But they are also doing splendidly.

As of today, they no longer receive PT services. Julia and Emma are speaking in full sentences, in both languages, and Ada is regularly putting 3-5 words together. Julia and Emma's vocabulary is growing beyond the point where I can track it or count how many words they know. (It was over 400 words six months ago. Now it's definitely way way over a thousand, if not more. I can't think of anything they don't say!) Ada's language skills have blossomed the last couple of weeks as well. She is probably where her sisters were 6 months ago when they were evaluated. (They are ahead, she's on track.)

I rarely come to a standstill long enough to post here anymore. I feel usurped by our life, and I'm just kind of going with it right now to survive.

We are on triplet time day in and day out, which to me feels like everything is happening three times as fast. I'm constantly playing the part of strategist, negotiator, offense, defense, team medic, janitor, physical therapist, psychologist and any other role you can think of.

It actually feels like I haven't stopped to catch my breath in 3 years.

And it's no wonder, because when I do think about it, I went from stage 4 Endo surgery to 2 back-to-back IVF flare cycles, a high risk pregnancy, HELLP Syndrome, shingles, hematoma, 3 preemies in the NICU, 3 refluxers at home, a year of pumping breast milk, 3 CP diagnoses, speech, PT, OT, to an interstate move, adjusting to being a SAHM, and living in a rental house that's impossible to childproof adequately. (It's anxiety-inducing.) I am in that place that doesn't have a name. The one that is beyond burned out.

I now spend most of my days feeling utterly overwhelmed by toddler tornadoes, cleaning up what they left in their wake (they help, sort of) and trying to stay a step ahead when all I want to do is take a nap. But somehow I keep chugging along. When I take them places by myself, strangers often ask me how I do it, and they are always surprised when I don't pretend to be superhuman. On a particularly challenging day, I answered somewhat embarrassed, "Oh, I've already cried once today." And the mom shot me this look that was part relief and part empathy. Having triplets creates this sort of parenting no man's land that can be quite isolating.

I can't describe to you the level of multitasking it takes to have 3 same-age toddlers. It's like taking the most challenging multitasking jobs you've ever performed, but trying to perform them in an ever-changing office where nothing stays where you put it, with a soundtrack of maddening whining, the worst unpredictability you've ever experienced, serious distractions that can't be ignored or prioritized, and needing to run interference while trying to also cook, teach, and generally keep the show on the road. I have worked in fast paced environments, high stress jobs, and I'm no stranger to multitasking. But this is kicking my butt. Daily.

They are always taken care of, but I forget *my* bag/cell phone/car keys, etc. if it's not strapped to my body while I'm out with them. My brain's capacity is taxed to the max just keeping track of them, their needs, and their stuff and there's nothing left over for anything else. Sometimes I'll have everyone loaded in the car (after dressing and wrestling 3 octopi into winter gear: 6 socks, 6 boots, 3 hats, 6 mittens, 3 coats, 3 books to occupy them with). Then in that moment before I turn the ignition, I'll finally have a second to think and realize that I forgot something for me. Usually, I just say in my mind, "Screw it! We're leaving NOW before everything goes to hell in handbasket." And THAT is how I end up without water or food for me, without my cell phone, or like the last time: without my wallet. It is HARD doing this alone all day, without a support system.

Just having a moment to gather one's thoughts is such an indescribable luxury these days. Day-to-day is easier in many ways than when they were infants (we're finally sleeping!) However, the cumulative effect of being chronically exhausted while having to care for toddlers makes this harder than I ever thought it would be.

There is MUCH to celebrate in our lives, and I'll hopefully have a chance to voice that soon, but I just needed to capture my feelings today and the reality that is right now. I want to be able to look back on this in a few years and laugh.

Even in the midst of this chaos, I never forget how fortunate we are. How inexplicably blessed we are for having three healthy children. That thought alone is what motivates me to be the best mother I can be, even when I feel incapable or inadequate.

Time's a flyin'

Since I last wrote, the girls have celebrated their 2nd birthday, battled two rounds of viruses - we're still in the midst of the 2nd virus - added a few new 2-year molars, celebrated Halloween, learned to speak in full sentences, started counting and recognizing colors, and now it's Thanksgiving. They have been sick on and off for almost two months.

I can not keep up with them, our life, our house, our yard, or life in general. Everything seems to be whizzing by at a hundred miles an hour while I'm spinning round and round going, "What just happened? How can it be Thanksgiving?"

Add three sick, whiny, clinging teething toddlers who are agitated by one another's mere existence, and it's a recipe for out-of-control tantrums, very little sleep, and overall exhaustion. Nobody's sleeping and everyone's crying, me included. That's pretty much us the past two months. It's been miserable. Now I'm sick too, which is not something a SAHM can afford to be.

In the midst of feeling like I'm a hopeless mom, I had someone tell me I must be supermom. I said to the woman, "Well, my kids are two years old, but I'm the one having the daily meltdowns." You could just tell she was relieved to hear I'm a normal woman who reaches the end of her rope sometimes.

The kids were sick on their birthday, sick on Halloween, but I took them out trick-or-treating anyway. Since they were getting over colds, I took them to a local mall and kept them in the stroller instead of risking a night out in the cold.

Julia and Emma wanted to wear their bumble bee and ladybug costumes. Ada refused to wear her caterpillar costume, but I managed to talk her into a tutu instead. I just told everyone she was a forest fairy. She was not into the wings. Whatever. You WILL enjoy Halloween, damn it! They had a blast seeing everyone's costumes. The candy haul was something to behold - they each practically received their weight in candy. They tasted one lollipop each, which is more sugar than they've had... ever! What will happen to the rest of the candy? Only time will tell.

Since we're in survival mode, I've set my sights low and won't be cooking anything special for Thanksgiving. (We have no friends or family anywhere close.) I am, however, looking forward to a potential nap. If I can manage that, it'll be the best Thanksgiving ever.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Activities with toddlers: more inside ideas

A big thank you to everyone for your awesome comments and ideas. So many fun activities to try - I can't wait! It's often hard for me to come up with a fresh, fun idea when I'm alone with my kids, so it certainly helps to have a go-to list in the back of my mind that take very little prep time. Some of your ideas are staples in our house, and I thought I'd elaborate on that a little:

FORTS, TENTS & SOFT TOYS
We have made our fair share of impromptu forts, and always seem to end up with every soft toy animal under the sun piled up inside it. They love frolicking amongst a pile of soft toys.

It's a wonderful activity and one they enjoy greatly. Sometimes, the animals creep/crawl/slither/bound over the tent or fort and surprise the kids with a "boo" where they least expect it. Sometimes they make their "correct" sounds (hippo impression, anyone? anyone? Bueller?) before appearing, and sometimes they "fly" into the fort at high speed. We also play a guessing game when the kids are inside their play tent, because they can see the silhouette of each animal. On a few occasions, we've pitched our adult 2-man tent inside the house. Yes, we're that crazy.

COMBINING TOYS TO MAKE A NEW GAME

Sometimes 30 minutes of fun is just a brainwave away. I often have to initiate a game, but then they run with it. They aren't really all that into building towers with anything except their mega blocks or nesting blocks, but I keep trying.

We recently acquired some of those awesome large cardboard bricks by Melissa & Doug. Our kids haven't really wanted to play with them yet. I started stacking them like "stairs" and invited a few soft toy animals to climb the "stairs" and voilà, a game was born. Every single animal in their collection ended up climbing "stairs" and sitting on "platforms" custom-built for them. Before I knew it, the kids were building with the bricks, having the animals walk up the stairs, feeding them, and having them walk down. This is a huge lesson to me not to write off any particular toy, but to "repurpose" it, or to think outside the box, if you will.

NO ENTRY

The kids have jumped on the guest room bed piled high with pillows, and frequently play in other "forbidden" (not fully childproofed) spaces for as long as my nerves can stand it. With triplet toddlers, you have to be hyper vigilant when they're not in a 100% childproofable space, so it's quite stressful for me, but oh.so.much.fun for them.

It usually goes something like this, "Don't touch that! Don't put that in your mouth! Get down from there! Don't pull on that! No jumping on that! That's not a toy. *sigh* Okay, let's go somewhere else, so I can start saying 'Yes!' to you again. Let's go! Go! Go!"

JUNKMAIL

Our girls LOVE receiving mail. Despite us unsubscribing from every known list on planet Earth, we still get enough neighborhood mailers. The kids even fight over them, depending on what is pictured. They now say, "Mail. ABCs!" when we retrieve the mail. I stuff opened envelopes with other pieces of paper, like receipts that would've been recycled.

We make paper airplanes from junkmail, crumple them to make lightweight balls, and we play a simple made-up game where I slowly approach a little hand holding an envelope or piece of paper and then quickly and unexpectedly "snatch" it from them without tearing it. This works great for multiples, because they never know who I'm going to target next and the anticipation is what makes this game fun for them.

They are so easy to entertain, *sometimes.* We have also accidentally stumbled on a fun game where I let a gazillion envelope-sized coupons "flutter" down on them. I stand and hold it above my head while they sit. It's similar to throwing leaves in the air, only it's cleaner and you can do it inside when it rains. ;-)

FLASHLIGHTS

The girls have recently discovered their own shadows, so shadow puppets and flashlights are definitely a big hit.

Please keep those fantastic comments and ideas coming. It's awesome to be able to draw on your collective wisdom.

The real world

Sorry for the interruption in our regular "programming." We'll get back to that innocent world soon. Promise.

In the meantime, I'm reeling from news from the real world and struggling to process it all. A friend of mine suffered the worst attack imaginable recently. She had a seizure following the brutal attack, which left her unable to speak or move. She passed away on Sunday afternoon.

Another friend, a teacher with two young kids, committed suicide recently. Her kids are now with her ex, and have emigrated to another country, where their father lives.

I can't make sense of any of it, and I'm so incredibly heartbroken for these two families.

Activities with toddlers: inside

If you've come across a great resource for easy activities to do with toddlers, or have ideas on things to do to keep them occupied, please share by leaving a comment.

We sing, dance and read a lot, but I thought I'd attempt to capture some other ideas too.

I'm no authority on the subject of toddlers, and this is not meant to be an exhaustive list, but here are some cheap and/or easy strategies I've learned along the way from other parents, and ideas that have kept our kids gleefully occupied in and around the house while having fun and learning. I hope this helps an overwhelmed parent to claim a few moments of sanity!

ROTATING TOYS

Divide their toys into tubs/baskets/containers so they don't have access to all of their toys every day. Hide them in a closet or a room they don't have access to. Out of sight, out of mind. Then rotate the toys. I bring out a different tub every morning or whenever they become whiny/bored and it works wonders because they have renewed interest in their toys. I've found that at least 4 days is the ideal amount of time to "hide" a toy.


SWITCH IT UP!

Sometimes I change where the toys are kept that they have access to. I'll switch the contents of cubbies and containers around, or move the ballpit balls from one place to another. They often play with toys they haven't touched in days if they discover it in a new spot. It's fun to watch them "find" and rediscover forgotten items.

I often change which toys are kept in which room. Since we have 3 toddlers, we have childproofed our living room, our enclosed porch and a part of our lower level. When they start to get antsy, I herd them outside or into a new space with other toys. Often, changing the environment helps as much as changing the activity. More on that in part 2 and 3 of this series of posts.

CLEAN-UP SONGS AND GAMES

Before naptime and bedtime, we sing a clean-up song while I try to put things away. They don't always help me, but they're starting to help more often and for longer periods. Oh, those short toddler attention spans! Sometimes they'll put things away without prompting, and say in a sing-songy voice, "clea-mup... clea-mup!" just to dump them out again. This, of course, is what toddlers do best and is a worthwhile endeavor too. Just not as much fun for me.

But I do think it's starting to sink in. It helps them "categorize" and learn to search for items, and follow instructions. E.g. "Let's clean up all of the blocks. Oh, look, there's a block behind the teddy bear. Can you bring it to me?"

Let's pack up all of the red balls! (Hold up a red ball.)

Oooh, can you find all of the teddy bears among the soft toys?

This game is endless, depending on the characteristics you point out and your level of patience.

YOUR JUNK IS A TODDLER'S TREASURE

Our kids have way too many toys, but sometimes all it takes is a bunch of plastic containers. It can be your Tupperware, or not. Sometimes the bigger yogurt containers make excellent toys, because they can:

- fill them and dump the contents
- attempt to open and close the lids
- bang on them like a drum

Plastic bottles.
We rinse small soda/juice bottles, remove the labels and lid (choking hazard) and hand them a bunch of straws. Our kids have spent a solid 30 minutes inserting straws into soda bottles and dumping them out again. Great for dexterity and working on fine motor skills. Of course, this is a closely supervised activity because of the straws.

Wooden spoons. These make great mallets to bang on stuff.

Stainless mixing bowls (oh, shiny object!)

Measuring cups. They have three different sets of stacking cups, but my measuring cups are more interesting to them because they are stainless steel and have handles.

Colorful tins with pictures.

BOXES

Keep big boxes. We go through so many diapers (sorry, planet Earth, as much as I wanted to, I ended up not having it in me to clothdiaper three). We always have big diaper boxes on hand. These make awesome toys to climb on top of, sit on, climb into, and dump stuff into and out of. We've pushed them around the house in the boxes too, making swoosh!, zoom!, brrrm! and beep beep noises. They also like pushing them around more than their expensive push toys.


AIR MATTRESS

In our former life, we used to go camping. Now the air mattress is an excellent way to spend 30 minutes on a rainy day getting some exercise. Jumping at this age is a critical skill to learn, and when your kids have gross motor delays, it serves a very important purpose while having fun.

PLAY KITCHEN

We purchased a play kitchen from Craigslist for $60 (it retails for over $300.)

TUB CONTENTS

We have tubs with:

1. Small animals.
Some are finger puppets, some are plastic toys, some are bathtime animals, and some are soft toys.

2. Tiny little books.
They love books and have board books out all the time, but what makes these books special is that they're tiny and fit neatly into a tin that I wanted to discard but decided on a whim to keep. The tin has kept them almost as busy as any other toy, trying to open and close it, bang it, put other stuff in it. And they discover these books anew every time they play with this tub. Because there are sooo many of the little books, they never get tired of them.

3. Wooden blocks and stacking toys.

4. Puzzles with handles.
They still can't get them in by themselves, but we talk about the pictures on the puzzles (mostly anmimals) and try to match them to their "friends." I make silly farm animal or wild animal noises, tell them about the animals, and talk about what each animal eats or does.

They now get it right 100% of the time, although for the longest time I thought they weren't really into puzzles. I just kept at it and now they love it. Don't expect them to finish the puzzle, but praise praise praise if they point to the matching object, or attempt to bring the piece to where it belongs. The girls occasionally get a piece fully into the puzzle, and they're so proud of themselves when it slips into place.

5. Hand puppets.
Some are cheap washcloth "mittens" with animals on them (duck, seal, frog), but we also have an "Assemble a monster" toy. It's a velcro hand puppet made of fleece with different eyes/noses/horns/arms/legs that you can velcro anywhere on the hand puppet.

We make funny noises for each monster. Their monsters give hugs and kisses, are fed "milk" and whatever they can dream up, and sometimes do unexpected un-girly like things, like burp and then we giggle and talk about what to say. "Monster, when you burp, you need to say, 'Excuse me!' Teaching the monster is so much more fun than whining at my kids about manners! And they learn without feeling like I'm admonishing them. Goodness knows, they get preached out all day long, "No! Don't touch that!" "That's not a toy!" "That's dangerous!" "That's sharp/hot/dirty (fill in the blank)" so it's a wonderful change of pace when I discover a fun and effective way of getting the same message across.

>> UPCOMING POSTS:

- Backyard activities with toddlers

- Activities in the community

- I'd like to compile a list of their favorite purchased toys (with links to examples) and will post that soon.

>> QUESTIONS:
With the girls' 2nd birthday coming up soon, what were some of your kids' favorite toys at age 2? Or if you have a toddler or are around toddlers, what have you seen them play with most?

>> If you have any tips to keep toddlers occupied, please share. We're always on the lookout for ideas. My sanity depends on it. (Yes, all about me.)

Attachment, and reflections on personality

Attachment to Blankets
The girls are very attached to their "blankies" and "bershies" as they affectionaly call them. The blankets receive numerous hugs, are sometimes "fed" milk from a sippy, stroked, soothed, kissed, and are on the receiving end of the sweetest, whispered, "I love you, bershie" words.

The blankets remain inside the house, and they now say their goodbyes to the blankets at the top of the stairs each morning when we head outside. So cute.

Attachment to Toys
On the soft toy front, each child has a favorite lovey. Ada has an Otter, "Otterjasie" Julia has a panda, "Pandamonium" and Emma has a puppy, "Ore." The soft toys sleep with them, and are always near during the day. When we head out the door, the soft toys go along for the ride, whether it's in the car, the stroller or the Choo Choo wagon. Oh, how I love the sweetness of toddlerhood, when every fear can be assuaged by a lovey.

Lovey Personalities
Julia feeds Pandamonium "bamboo" from her sippy cup or spoon, and has squeezed him and loved on him that he's a shadow of his former self.

Julia insists that he understands English only. Whenever she has him in her arms and I'm speaking Afrikaans, she says to me, "Panda... English!" and then I have to repeat whatever I said in English, for the panda's benefit, you see. Cracks me up every time. She also laughs when I start speaking English to him. This child absolutely loves language. She has totally figured out that each object has at least two names. If I only give her the one name for something, she'll request to hear it in the other language. Blows me away.

Emma loves on her puppy all day long. She whispers sweet nothings in the puppy's ears, pets him, hugs him to death, and strokes his head. Puppy is often covered with her blanket and rocked to sleep. It's really sweet to watch her express her love. She's very gentle and sweet with puppy, and it reflects our most sensitive child's personality. She is most attached to her blanket and sucks on it to soothe herself, but the puppy is never far from her either.

Ada's otter uses his tail to tickle her feet. She makes him do that - it's not something I showed her. She says, "tick tick tick" and giggles. She greets him with, "More Otter" ("Morning, Otter") every morning when she wakes up. Ada loves her otter, but is not as attached to him as her sisters are to their lovies. Everything Otterjasie does reflects Ada's fun-loving, outgoing, confident personality.

Sharing Lovies
Every now and then one child will pick up all 3 lovies, and express their undying love for all 3. This is usually only "tolerated" for a minute or two at a time by her sisters, before someone reclaims their soft toy. If someone picks up the "wrong" soft toy on purpose, the owner will reclaim it by handing her sister the "right" soft toy.

4-word sentences

First off, let me confess: we don't bathe our kids every night. *gasp* Last night was a non-bath night. My husband came home just around bedtime, and the girls were desperate for some dad attention. In our temporary home, he is the one who bathes them, because my back can't handle it. (I used to just jump in the tub with them, but our temporary house has a tiny bathroom and even tinier bath.)

Ada's genius solution to spend more time with dad? Her first 4-word sentence ever: "Ada vuil - pappa bad" which translates to: "Ada dirty - daddy bath" What a clever stalling tactic before bed! Her exact wish wasn't granted, but her daddy did scoop her and her sisters up and gave them some extra hugs and playtime before bed. Too sweet.

This morning, Emma said, "Pappa gone. Work. Mamma home."

I just love this newfound level of communication they have with stringing words together. It's lovely to hear them express themselves, to find out what's going on in their heads, and for me to be able to talk in complete sentences, and know that they're grasping what I'm saying.

There is so much chattering happening now that I find myself saying, "Hang on. One at a time. What did you say? (pointing to child)" I chuckle as I'm writing this, just imagining the preteen and teen years. Oh.my.word! And already, they're on their play phones constantly.

I'm seeing more tantrums, less patience, more exerting of their wills, and more typical 2-year old behavior. So I've started to offer them choices, and picking my battles. For example, when getting them dressed, I'll ask, "the pink shorts or the blue shorts?" Now, whenever I bring their clothes, Julia says, "Julia choose (shorts/dress/pants/shirt)!" like she's expressing first dibs on selecting. Classic! Simply awesome to watch their personalities develop and to watch them learn new skills.

Ada: independent, tinkering, exhuberant, loves exploring stuff

Julia: daredevil, social butterfly, loves jumping, climbing and singing.

Emma: gentle, cautious, loves reading and running full tilt.

The above is what they would naturally gravitate to if we aren't doing any structured activity.

All of them enjoy reading, singing, dancing and being around people, and are extremely observant. They note things that they hear, see or smell, that would just otherwise pass me by. Through them, I've become much more aware of other aspects of our world. The crickets chirping, the wind blowing, an airplane passing overhead...

Being on the fence

I feel pretty defeated today. I shouldn't feel that, but I do. You see, the kids had their EI evaluations (in our new county and state) today and according to the therapists, they all came out "right where they should be." Yet, they're only looking at "functionality" and only saw the kids at their absolute best. First thing in the morning, right after they slept and ate.

I hate being in this position of needing to advocate for them. You know the kind of unenviable position nobody wants to be in when facing a medical professional: the whining mother. The one who insists there's still some progress to be made when people who look on the surface think otherwise.

Today, I felt like I needed to justify and convince. Their 3x Cerebral Palsy diagnoses aren't "enough" to qualify them. What.the.fuck. "Cerebral Palsy is a catch-all diagnosis. It's so broad," said the therapist.

So, "they probably need orthotics" but because they can walk "functionally" they "don't need therapy." Say what? So, in a sense, it's counting against them that we've taught them to walk by age 1ish, and to run and jump before age 2. That, I hate. I want to celebrate their successes, not be in this position of barely good enough.

I'm pissed because I feel like I failed them today. I'm frustrated because I don't want them to have to receive services, and yet, here I am battling the system... and losing.

Parents of kids with hemiparesis and paraparesis have warned me that if their diagnosis is mild, it's a struggle to obtain and maintain services because the kids' problems are subtle and not always "on display" during an eval. I knew this awkward position was coming, yet I feel utterly overwhelmed by it and quite stuck with how to proceed. Essentially, they're doing too well to qualify, and not well enough for my mind to be truly at ease.

Of course, I'm also the woman who cried when their first round of evals came back and showed that they had delays. I'm the woman who bawled when they were diagnosed. So, I should be happy about today's good news, shouldn't I? Isn't this what I've wished for all these months? That they would progress beautifully? Isn't this my dream come true? Then why does this feel so wrong?

I want to be just proud of every single thing they do, and not want to have to point out the stuff that they're struggling with. Stumbling. Not being able to balance all that well. Walking into walls when there's the smallest of distraction. Still not tolerating certain tastes and textures. And yet, that's what I had to do today. I heard myself as I was talking, and I could hear the patronizing answers coming back at me.

Absolutely the worst thing a therapist can say to you when you voice a concern, is that "there's a wide range of normal." Or: "that's what typical toddlers do." Like I don't have eyes in my head. Like I don't have THREE kids who share the same experiences but with wildly different personalities and skills that span the spectrum of what typical is. Like I haven't read all there is to read about their diagnoses, like I haven't sought the insights of other parents with kids who face the same diagnoses, like I haven't consulted with many medical professionals. I despise feeling dismissed.

I'm getting even more peeved as I'm writing this, which means the vent is probably working. Thank you for allowing me to voice all of these conflicting thoughts. I hope to be back to my thankful place tomorrow. The thankful place that allows me to be the mom not-weighed-down by those little nagging thoughts,

"What if they get teased?"

"What if they struggle more if they don't get the help they need now?"

"What if all the targeted play and "work" we've done with them the past 21 months is negated by them not getting all the help they need now?

"What if they regress on skills already learned?"

"What if they learn the 'wrong' way of using their bodies to compensate and then we have a harder struggle ahead than we needed to have?"

They qualified for weekly OT and PT sessions before, but now, in our new state, we'll be lucky to get a monthly PT session and maybe 4 OT consults in 6 months. It's not nothing, so we have a lifeline. And for that I am truly thankful. It's just not what I know in my heart they still need.

I've always imagined them being done with EI by age 3. Again, thankful for that. And we were on our way toward that goal. But now I feel like they might not get the help they need right now... and then we may need to step it up when they're older and in school. That thought terrifies me. To wait until the delay is so visible and bad that you can't address or erase it with ease. To go contrary to what the mommy gut instinct is saying.

This is hard.

Triplets and sharing... or not

I've been teaching the girls a new word, "mine" (myne). I don't want them to push/shove/bite/pull hair when someone takes something that's theirs. I want them to be able to verbalize it. They don't yet have all of the words to ask nicely. So, even though I know I'll regret it, I'm teaching them to stand up for themselves when a sister pounces to grab and run away with a favorite lovey or blankie.

Of course, I want them to learn to share too, but they share almost everything already, and this is mostly an effort to stop Ada from bullying Emma and constantly taking her blanket or lovey. Ada does it to get my attention, I know, so I'm making a concerted effort to give her other positive attention throughout the day, and to make sure she can locate HER blanket/lovey when she wants it, instead of taking her sisters'.

It's working, but takes a ton of discipline from me to step back in those moments, not get frustrated, and say to myself, "Why is she doing this again?" And the answer is almost always, "because she wants my attention." It's my biggest challenge to divide my attention somewhat equally between the three of them, and still give each child the 1:1 attention they crave and deserve. So this behavior targets my achilles heel.

I try not to physically intervene each time unless there's bullying. I want them to (eventually) learn to amicably resolve their own battles. But I do pipe up with words they can use when they start showing frustration. They don't actually repeat those words yet, but I'm hoping it'll start sticking at some point. In that regard, I've often treated them like much older kids, even though I don't expect a big kid reaction from a toddler. They've often surprised me.

Mostly, a redirect/distract with a "new" toy/book works wonders. Sometimes, it's more difficult to solve, and it requires me playing with them 100% actively to keep the peace. Quick! Sing a song!

I find that they play fine on their own after they wake from naps, and I can play with them for about 10 minutes, step back but still be in the room for a few minutes, etc. But when they're tired/hungry, it takes everything I have to maintain the serenity in this household. Even my 100% attention isn't enough at that point to keep the meltdowns at bay. It's hard.

There is, however, lots of great sharing of toys happening already, which amazes me for their age. Julia is such a compassionate kid, who will easily take something to her sisters (sippy cup, toy, blanket), or give a toy in exchange for another toy offered by her sisters, or simply give it when it looks like her sisters really want it, and then go find something else to play with. She'll even prompt them to say, "dankie!" (thank you). Melts my heart. She's also figured out that if she wants something, she can hold out her hand to her sisters, and say, "dankie!" and that often results in her getting her way. Sneaky.

Emma will just wail if anything of hers is taken. She's starting to want to bite in an effort to fight back, hence me teaching her words like, "mine." She's my gentle, sensitive kid, and I try hard to empower her. She has more words than anyone, is starting to form 2-word sentences, and will most likely be the first to verbally express her needs. But Ada walks all over her (figuratively speaking).

Ada has such a strong personality, and is the self-appointed leader of the trio. She is immensely sweet, but can also be very demanding and independent. She figures stuff out that her sisters pay no attention to, like how to work the vacuum cleaner, she'll pull the garden hose to the splash pool in an attempt to fill it, and she knows how latches, snaps and locks work. Stuff that's supposed to be way beyond a 1.5 year old's interest and capability. When the other two see her making a discovery, they're all over it too.

PRETEND PLAY
Emma is really into her dolls at the moment. She loves them, hugs them, rocks them to sleep, and says, "Du du" to them while patting their backs. We're seeing more pretend play with all 3, and we often drape a blanket over dolls to pretend to tuck them in, or offer sippy cups or snacks to the dolls and soft toys while they're eating/drinking.

Today, I'm proud to admit, we took it to a whole new level. I "diapered" a Panda, Raggedy Ann, and a Hippopotamus. Because these soft toys aren't potty trained, and I don't have enough kids to diaper as it is. The trio thought it was hysterical. I told the hippo - in particular! - to lay still because he's such a wiggle worm, and blew pretend raspberries on the soft toy tummies (not as easy as it sounds... *cleans fuzz out of mouth*) I'll often blow raspberries on the trio's tummies when I change their diapers, so I went through the whole routine. Then they blew raspberries and helped me fix the soft toy diapers. Soooo cute.

Early July Update: 20 months

As we started running out of time with the packing prior to our move, we started tossing stuff that clearly didn't belong into boxes to co-habitate during the move. Everytime I'd unpack something strange (think baby potty packed with laundry detergent) or books with paper towels (we needed to balance the weight!), we'd get a chuckle out of it and say, "Another priceless contribution from the Department of Random."

My blogging feels like that too lately. There's no time to organize a coherent post, and if I waited until I could get my act together, I'd have a ghost blog.

So, without further adieu, another priceless contribution from the Department of Random:

NEW SKILLS
- Ada figured out how to eat with a spoon (July 3).

- Emma gently nudged Julia ahead of her on walkway, and said, “stap stap” (it sounded like, “tap tap.” It means to “walk walk”.) I was very impressed that she didn’t push or shove, and used a verbal cue to let her sister know to hurry up ahead of her.

- A friend spent some time teaching Ada how to open a stainless steel water bottle. She now knows how to turn the cap, release her hand, and turn the cap again, until it comes off. Oh, the trouble we're in.

BACKYARD FUN
- We are discovering our new backyard. Playing in the sandy soil, splashing in the baby pool, sliding down the slide. The bonus is that our friend – lover of all things living – found a resident box turtle in our yard and showed the girls. They loved seeing the real live turtle.

- Our friend also has 3 little baby birds that he’s hand rearing, and the girls watched him feed the “triplet” birds. They now say, “cheep cheep” whenever he walks by! Oh, and another new word, "triplet!" Sounds like "tippet" when they say it, and I just get all warm and fuzzy when I hear them saying that word.

CLIMBING
- They can all climb into and out of the Choo Choo wagon by themselves now. This is astonishing to me, because of the motor planning and coordination it takes to do that. Pretty impressive how far they've come on the PT front.

- Ada gets her toes over the railing of her crib. I think we’ll have a climber soon. Emma copied her, but because she's shorter, there's less immediate risk. We have a crib tent II on standby and we're not afraid to use it.

EATING
- Julia ate whole peas for the first time on July 3, and cooked, cut-up carrots for the first time on July 4. I’ve offered that a bazillion times before, but she’s always refused to eat any vegetable that wasn’t pureed or somehow hidden in a marinara sauce. All of this running around is making this kid H-U-N-G-R-Y and she’s suddenly eating all sorts of things she’s never wanted to touch before. She didn’t want anything to do with the cut-up potato in front of her, but then grabbed (the same) half a potato from my plate and nibbled away at it. What a sight!

WILLFUL
They are exerting their will more often. They give very clear signals to indicate what they want to eat, and when they’re done. (Sometimes they'll rip their velcroed bibs off midway through the meal, which drives me crazy, and then wipe it through the food that's left on the feeding table. Because, you know, eating isn't messy enough yet.)

They have the cutest and most definitive way of saying, “no.” It’s not a mean and disagreeable “no,” it’s more of a “nope.”

LISTENING
Every now and then they don’t throw a sippy, but actually hand it to me. They're starting to want to put it down upright, instead of sideways.

If they're venturing away from me and into an unsafe area (e.g. towards a road at the rest stops while we were in the midst of our moving extravagaza), Emma will stop and turn around, and come back to me when I ask her to do so. She isn't always compliant, but she is certainly our most compliant kid. It helps me so much when at least one listens, because then I have 2 arms free to keep the other 2 out of harms way. Fortunately, friends came along, so I wouldn't be outnumbered. I'm just trying really hard to teach them to stick with me in case I take them places by myself. Wouldn't want them to bolt in 3 directions!

NEW WORDS
eagle, burra (kookaburra), bakkie (container), beker (mug), koffie (coffee), wit (white) (only Emma says this), koppie (cup), “djaff” (giraffe), vaal (oval), swaai/swing, fan, draai (turn), leeu (they pronounce it "deeu"), lion, hoender (chicken), eendjie (only Emma says this), pampoen (pumpkin), pynappel (pineapple), mielie (corn), ertjie (pea), skop/kick, bytjie/bee (Emma), plane, copter, digger, bus, tractor, masjien/machine (pronounced, "sheen!"), fiets/bike, donder(weer)/thunder, reen/rain, brood (bread), (s)nack, komkommer (cucumber), -matie (tomato), boontjie (greenbean).

Tonight, there were cut greenbeans on their plates (a mom can dream), and Emma called them, “chips” (french fries) because they were the same shape. I went with it, but it didn't help much.

TRUCKS AND THINGS THAT GO
When they hear the distinctive beep-beep of a truck backing up, they say, “truck!” I’m amazed at what they hear and recognize. Julia is fixated on tractors, trucks and machines right now. When given a choice of a million and one books, the one with the various methods of transportation is all she cares about. Her fixation with trucks happily peaked during and after our move. Imagine her surprise on our "packing" day when there were suddenly two HUGE trucks in our driveway. She was equally pleased to see them at our new house.

Today, a delivery truck came by, she heard it, shouted, "Truck! Truck! Truck!" I lifted her up so she could see out the window, and that made her day. When the truck left, she cried inconsolably, 'Twuuucckk! Twuccckk! Nooooo!." Maybe she thought someone she knew was in the truck? I don't know, and have been trying hard to explain it all to her.

Our new life

The news is that my husband accepted a job offer in another state and that we have done the seemingly impossible. We have completed the move and are now in our new house. But let me backtrack.

He accepted the offer late Friday evening a few weeks ago. We met with a realtor the Saturday morning, staged the house, took photos, notified our employers of our intent to resign, and listed our house the Monday afternoon. We asked for 24 hr notice of any showing, because it's no picnic getting ourselves, 3 toddlers and a dog out of the house, with the house looking spotless. On Tuesday, the realtors called.

On Wednesday early evening, the first couple came and looked at the house, and later that same evening we had a solid offer. We were in shock at how fortunate we were, because of the stagnant housing market. We continued showing the house just in case, and one of the couples made a backup offer the following evening.

We started packing, searching for rental homes, finishing up our respective jobs in a way that would enable a seamless transition to the new hires at our respective employers, writing resignation letters, begging friends for help on the home front, and panicking about everything that still needed to happen.

Our house passed inspection, we negotiated some more, and with two weeks to go before our move, we finally found a rental home. Phew. Whirlwind. Getting the lease agreement signed was a humongous pain in the neck. The house we wanted to rent had been on the market, and when it didn't sell, the owners switched from the realtors to a property management company. They did this, after we had completed the realtors' lease agreements and submitted our documents. So we needed to redo everything and then some. Because once, with feeling, is not enough. They made us jump through hoops like you wouldn't believe. It seriously is easier to BUY a house than to RENT one. Blegh. Even with a stellar credit rating. Anyway, that's done now.

We tried to keep the disruption to the kids' lives to a minimum, and didn't pack their stuff until the very last week. They received EI therapy services until two days before the move. We talked to them about all that was happening and I think that helped a ton. It certainly helped me process it all. I reassured myself as I reassured them. Everything will be okay.

They have adjusted perfectly fine to our new surroundings. There was one gutwrenching moment when we drove away from our house with two Penske trucks and 3 vehicles, and Emma said she wanted to, "Climb out. Go home!" I envisioned hearing that whine for the next 9 hours, but she settled in nicely for the long drive. It was her first two sentences strung together, and prize winning ones at that. Heartfelt in its sincerity and comprehension of the situation.

Part of me wanted to stop the runaway train we were on several times before, during and after the move, but there's no looking back. So onwards and upwards we go.

I have resigned from a job that I loved, with smart, innovative colleagues that I adore. I doubt I will ever find anything as fun, fulfilling, meaningful and joyous. So for now, at least, I will do the only other fun, fulfilling, meaningful and joyous job that I can think of: being a stay-at-home mom to my children. And that is a wonderful gift and dream come true.

I have wanted to feel less pulled-in-a-million directions, but selfishly didn't want to give up my job that I had pre-kids. My previous employer allowed me such flexibility, and made it possible for me to return part-time after I had the girls. It's been challenging juggling it all, though, and constantly feeling like I wasn't able to do my best at work or at home on a part-time schedule with minimal childcare. My solution was to have returned to work full-time this past month, since I felt confident that the girls have reached an age where they would thrive in a daycare environment. We started acclimating them to the daycare in anticipation of my return to work full-time, but then my husband's job offer happened out of the blue and everything changed. Fast.

I'm still spinning, adjusting and processing what this all means. Do I want to work again? Can we afford for me not to work? Will I be a good mom if I'm with my kids full-time? If I work, how will we afford daycare for 3 in our new hometown, where it is much more expensive? I just don't know, and I'm trying to catch my breath before diving into any longer term decisions.

We have been in our new rental home for a week, and closed on our old house on Friday. I have to set up EI services from scratch starting with evaluations (boo! so inefficient that our IFSP's can't be transferred) and there are many other time-sensitive things left to do before we can officially claim to be more fully settled. Car registrations, licenses, address changes. Fun times.

Hopefully this will all be worthwhile. At least my husband has had a great first week in his new job, and the kids are doing great. That's 80% of the battle won. As for the other 20% of the equation (me) the jury is still out, but here's to hoping.

Talking up a storm

Another update coming soon since we have news galore, but first an update on the girls...

The chatter in this household is unreal now. I love listening to them chat in their room. It's incredible to communicate with my children and receive responses that I can decipher easily. "Are you thirsty?" is greeted with vehement head nodding, and then, "Milk!" or "Water!" or "Cup." Okay then, my loves. I'll take that as a "Yes, please, mom."

"Are you tired?" is greeted with the word, "doedoe" (sleep) and "bersie" (blanket) while they lay down on the playroom floor. Got it. Time for a snooze.

"Are you hungry?" is greeted with them running to the triplet feeding table, or pointing at the fridge.

When they're done eating dinner, I ask, "And what happens now?" With one voice, they say, "Cookie! Cookie! Cookie!"

Me, "And what would you like now?"
Emma is usually the first to respond with, "Melkies!" (milk) and soon the others join in a little choir.

They're starting to repeat "asseblief" - the word for please and "dankie" (thank you). The hysterical thing is, they are already prompting ME to say thank you. This morning, hubby handed me my coffee, and Julia said, "Coffee." And a second later, she said, "Dankie!" There could be worse things she could be repeating or prompting me to say. LOL.

These kids are starting to say more complex words like, otter, dolphin, penguin, and koala. Julia says, "koo-lala" which is so freaking cute, I can't stand it. The Afrikaans word for penguin is "pikkewyn" and the three of them each pronounce it differently:

"Pik-kyn" (Emma)
"Pik-e-yn" (Julia)
"Puh puh" (Ada)

They're saying, "fiets" (bicycle), "truck" (Julia's new favorite word), "trekker" (tractor), "boat," "helicopter" ("copter"), "bus" and understand "plane" but do not say it yet.

They're always excited to see their toothbrushes and say, "borsel" (brush - for hairbrush and toothbrush), but are less excited once we actually start brushing teeth.

They know words like "door" and "bird" and since they know all the body parts, we've moved on to joints, like "elbow," and "ankle." I've been teaching them, "wrist" and "hips" but they don't get or say those yet.

They know "ring" and "horlosie" and pronounce it "losie" (wrist watch). I rarely wear earrings anymore, but I did this week, and soon, Julia and Emma were saying, "belle" (oorbelle).

Emma is such a little chatterbox now, and knows the plural and dimunitive form of many words. It blows me away. She'll say and use them appropriately, which is even more astounding. "hasie" (rabbit) and "poppie" and too many others to recollect. She also very clearly says, "uitklim" (to climb out) if she wants to get out of the feeding table or out of her crib. It sounds like, "uitblim" but it's very distinguishable.

Ada has made huge strides with her speech the last few weeks. She is now saying words like, "house," "duck," "milk" and our dog's name (a two syllable word) very clearly, whereas before she was just saying the first syllable of any given word.

At the beginning of June, we went to a parade in our town. When Emma saw the horses in the parade, she was in disbelief! She bounced up and down in the triplet stroller, pointing like crazy and shouting excitedly, "Horsey! Horsey! Horse! Horshey! Perd! Neigh! Neigh!" until they disappeared around the corner. Julia blew raspberries like a horse and said, "neigh! neigh! neigh!", and Ada clicked her tongue to immitate the sound of their hooves.

Emma touches her chest and says, "Emma" and then points to me and says, "Mamma." Whenever anyone else visits, she'll point to me repeatedly and say, "Mamma!" and wait for people to acknowledge her. She's just letting everyone know that I'm her mama. Love it.

They say our friends' names, "Rinda, Famke, Lukie, Carly, Kathy, Nancy, Chris, Steve, Judy, Leigh, and many more. The girls love looking at the photos on the camera after I've taken pictures, and will identify the people in the photos.

I can not get enough of how cute they are right now. I'm trying to absorb it, because soon enough the tantrumming will be adding to my gray hair. Tantrums are already a fairly regular occurence, but for the most part, I'm able to ignore/redirect or figure out that they're tired/hungry and go from there.

This afternoon, Ada tripped and bumped her lip against the Cozy Coupe. Julia and Emma seemed alarmed by her crying, and said, "Huil!" (to cry) and then proceeded to each give Ada a kiss. It was just the sweetest thing.

They often want the same toy, and will try and shove or head butt, or reach to pull hair to lay claim to it, so I'm constantly redirecting and saying, "Gently. We share. We don't do X - we do X" (fill in the blank as I'm distracting them with what I DO want them to do). It is exhausting, so when there are kisses and hugs doled out without prompting, it's extra sweet. It often feels like I'm directing WWF.

It's simply adorable how they've bonded, and how they sometimes hand one another something. Ada mostly uses this like a decoy technique. "Here! You take this shiny object - dangles it in front of her sister - so I can play with the toy I really want." I wonder where she has seen that. (Laughing!)

Miss Ada sleeps less, and wakes before anyone else. Yesterday morning, my husband was up with her, changed her diaper, and gave her a sippy, but didn't close the nursery door behind him. Next thing he knows, Ada did a 180 and is standing in front of Julia and Emma's cribs, going, "Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!" incessantly, until, of course, they woke up. Mission accomplished.

This week, Ada has also figured out how to hang and swing from the overhang of our kitchen island. An amazing feat and not one that I want to encourage, but one that I secretly take pride in. She now has such amazing control over her little body which she didn't have just a few months ago. It really is something to celebrate when this child, whom we weren't sure would walk, pulls stunts like that.

Today, Emma and Julia tried it too, with mixed success. They're a bit shorter...

Emma's Precious First Phrase

When I came home early last night, just in time to tuck them in, Emma looked up and said, "Hello my mama!" It was the cutest thing I've ever heard. This girl is suddenly trying to say all sorts of things, but this was the first phrase. She looked so proud of herself when I reacted in disbelief at what I just heard.

Julia started being my echo about a week ago, and now Emma's doing the same thing. Everything is being repeated.

Ada now says words like "huis" (house), while Emma amazed me today when she said, "yellow!" clear as day. We were actually looking at a page full of yellow objects, but then she wouldn't repeat it for her dad, so who knows if it was coincidence.

We've had a few rough weeks. At first, I thought the girls had a cold, but now, after about 3 weeks of sniffling and sneezing, it's finally dawned on me that it must be allergies. It only struck me when they started rubbing eyes when they weren't tired. Tree pollen does me in every year, so it's no wonder that this is the time of year they're struggling too. Oy.

Why I hate Aetna

I'm so furious right now. I just found out Aetna will not cover the Mirena IUD. As you can probably ascertain from the fact that we have both male and female infertility and had to do IVF with ICSI twice, I've never needed birth control.

Now while I completely understand that birth control is not always covered by insurance plans, I find it incomprehensible that Aetna would not cover this simple in-office procedure when it is medically necessary for Endometriosis patients.

Aetna would rather fork over $30,000+ every few years for me to have an operative laparoscopy to remove bilateral complex cysts and endo adhesions than to pay less than $1,000 to curb the bleeding for 5+ years. They would rather pay for all the ultrasounds leading up to the surgery, reproductive endocrinologist's visit, the surgeon's time to perform the surgery, the time for a GI specialist to be on hand, the anesthesiologist, the surgery suite and related hospital costs, all of the nurses before, during and afterwards (in the PACU), the pharmaceutical expenses, etc. etc.

If I had to do the math, I'd say it's a questions of:
60,000+ every 5 years for surgery
1,000 every 5 years for the IUD

I'm dumbfounded by their stupidity and shortsightedness. It makes NO financial/business sense, no personal sense and it just infuriates me beyond reason.

Why is Endometriosis so misunderstood, and why does it have to be such a battle? As if dealing with the never-ending pain, infertility and emotional issues aren't enough.