New plan! IVF/ICSI #2

Unfortunately, the only thing that has the potential to lift me out of this funk, is also the very same thing that could pull me deeper into the depths of despair. Attempting another cycle is the ultimate Catch-22. I *might* be damned if I do, but if I don't, I'm *certainly* damned.

How can I not give this another shot? If it wasn't for the money, I probably wouldn't have hesitated at all, but paying everything out-of-pocket makes this an agonizing decision.

Being the "leap of faith" kind of gal that I am, I found myself in the RE's office yesterday requesting that they change my beta bloodtest to a baseline for IVF/ICSI#2. The nurse practitioner looked at me somewhat shocked, but then obligingly did an u/s. This is how you know you've had too many u/s: when you start ASKING for them! :P

I hate that I was right, but AF had reduced my lining to 2.something (down from well over 10). There were about 10 antral follicles, and no cysts. Woot! (Forgive me, I'm trying hard to keep focusing on the silver lining.) It was cute how she counted on her fingers to figure out when I could start stims again.

I might be able to start stims for cycle #2 as early as tomorrow, if my progesterone level peters out enough by then. I'm going back for another blood test, and should know if I have a green light by the afternoon.

Typically, they make you wait out a cycle, but since I have severe Endo, I don't want to have two periods before I can try again. They suggested following the same flare protocol as it worked well for cycle #1. I'll be starting with 300 iu of Gonal-F instead of 150, but other than that, it's the same (Lupron 0.05 daily, Ovidrel trigger).

Right back in the saddle. Yeee-haaaw!

Are My Eggs Cooked?

I drove to the nearest Quest lab this morning to have my FSH, LH and Estradiol tested. Let’s hope my ovarian reserve looks as good as my RE said it did after looking at the “many follicles” during my u/s. I can’t handle more bad news right now.

If my FSH is over 9, then the news is not only bad in terms of ttc, obviously, but it’s a double whammy because we won’t qualify for the shared risk insurance option down the line. My mom was 39 when she gave birth to my brother, and I’ve read that one’s mother’s fertility clock can be an indicator of one’s own ovarian reserve. I’m cautiously hopeful.

A poster on one of the forums mentioned a clinical trial in NYC. I completed their pre-screening evaluation, so we will see if anything comes of it. They are comparing different IVF protocols. My RE reckons I’m at risk of OHSS, so mini-IVF wouldn’t be objectionable. I wonder if MF is reason for disqualification. We shall see. I wouldn’t mind a free IVF cycle.