Saturday, January 12, 2008

From Sea to Shining Sea

Infertility makes you question your being, your sense of self. Suddenly equilibrium is beyond reach, a constantly downward shifting goal. If I could only get pregnant, if I could only resolve the pain, if I could only test negative for ovarian cancer, if only it wasn’t stage IV endo, if I could only get through the day without sobbing at the sight of a parent hugging his child. Holding onto the dream when despair cloaks every cell, hormones rage, and I’m an ocean away from support, seems infinitely impossible. The firmer the grasp on the floating dingy, the more I bob about uncontrollably, at the mercy of an endless sea of disappointment.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Talk about possiblities....this must take you back! How this year has flown - it's not over yet...however, I pray you have your babes in arms at home for Christams! "Mielies" came home on Christmas Eve (0ur Celebration day) 2008! What a gift!

That is my prayer for you....three bundles of joy beneath the christmas tree! Dollies galore!