Monday, July 11, 2011

Our new life

The news is that my husband accepted a job offer in another state and that we have done the seemingly impossible. We have completed the move and are now in our new house. But let me backtrack.

He accepted the offer late Friday evening a few weeks ago. We met with a realtor the Saturday morning, staged the house, took photos, notified our employers of our intent to resign, and listed our house the Monday afternoon. We asked for 24 hr notice of any showing, because it's no picnic getting ourselves, 3 toddlers and a dog out of the house, with the house looking spotless. On Tuesday, the realtors called.

On Wednesday early evening, the first couple came and looked at the house, and later that same evening we had a solid offer. We were in shock at how fortunate we were, because of the stagnant housing market. We continued showing the house just in case, and one of the couples made a backup offer the following evening.

We started packing, searching for rental homes, finishing up our respective jobs in a way that would enable a seamless transition to the new hires at our respective employers, writing resignation letters, begging friends for help on the home front, and panicking about everything that still needed to happen.

Our house passed inspection, we negotiated some more, and with two weeks to go before our move, we finally found a rental home. Phew. Whirlwind. Getting the lease agreement signed was a humongous pain in the neck. The house we wanted to rent had been on the market, and when it didn't sell, the owners switched from the realtors to a property management company. They did this, after we had completed the realtors' lease agreements and submitted our documents. So we needed to redo everything and then some. Because once, with feeling, is not enough. They made us jump through hoops like you wouldn't believe. It seriously is easier to BUY a house than to RENT one. Blegh. Even with a stellar credit rating. Anyway, that's done now.

We tried to keep the disruption to the kids' lives to a minimum, and didn't pack their stuff until the very last week. They received EI therapy services until two days before the move. We talked to them about all that was happening and I think that helped a ton. It certainly helped me process it all. I reassured myself as I reassured them. Everything will be okay.

They have adjusted perfectly fine to our new surroundings. There was one gutwrenching moment when we drove away from our house with two Penske trucks and 3 vehicles, and Emma said she wanted to, "Climb out. Go home!" I envisioned hearing that whine for the next 9 hours, but she settled in nicely for the long drive. It was her first two sentences strung together, and prize winning ones at that. Heartfelt in its sincerity and comprehension of the situation.

Part of me wanted to stop the runaway train we were on several times before, during and after the move, but there's no looking back. So onwards and upwards we go.

I have resigned from a job that I loved, with smart, innovative colleagues that I adore. I doubt I will ever find anything as fun, fulfilling, meaningful and joyous. So for now, at least, I will do the only other fun, fulfilling, meaningful and joyous job that I can think of: being a stay-at-home mom to my children. And that is a wonderful gift and dream come true.

I have wanted to feel less pulled-in-a-million directions, but selfishly didn't want to give up my job that I had pre-kids. My previous employer allowed me such flexibility, and made it possible for me to return part-time after I had the girls. It's been challenging juggling it all, though, and constantly feeling like I wasn't able to do my best at work or at home on a part-time schedule with minimal childcare. My solution was to have returned to work full-time this past month, since I felt confident that the girls have reached an age where they would thrive in a daycare environment. We started acclimating them to the daycare in anticipation of my return to work full-time, but then my husband's job offer happened out of the blue and everything changed. Fast.

I'm still spinning, adjusting and processing what this all means. Do I want to work again? Can we afford for me not to work? Will I be a good mom if I'm with my kids full-time? If I work, how will we afford daycare for 3 in our new hometown, where it is much more expensive? I just don't know, and I'm trying to catch my breath before diving into any longer term decisions.

We have been in our new rental home for a week, and closed on our old house on Friday. I have to set up EI services from scratch starting with evaluations (boo! so inefficient that our IFSP's can't be transferred) and there are many other time-sensitive things left to do before we can officially claim to be more fully settled. Car registrations, licenses, address changes. Fun times.

Hopefully this will all be worthwhile. At least my husband has had a great first week in his new job, and the kids are doing great. That's 80% of the battle won. As for the other 20% of the equation (me) the jury is still out, but here's to hoping.

7 comments:

BB said...

WOW - is all I can say! You girls rock!!

Did you move closer to us or away? I remember you had mentioned to me in your email as to what part you live in.

callmemama said...

I can't wait to hear where you ended up - email me when you get a chance! I'd love to come visit, too :).

Twingle Mommy said...

Congratulations on the smooth transition moving!!

Stacie said...

Whoa, when you do things, you go ALL out!

Hope the SAHM thing figures itself out. It might be worth it to find some sort of group where you can get your adult fix. Being home with the kids is awesome, but you do need to have a break every now and then!

Morningglory said...

just reading this post makes me want to go back to sleep. lol! We will be buying our first home with in the next year ( I hope) so knowing you made it through your move ok, makes me more confident that my kids will do ok as well.

BB said...

BTW, I am kind of getting active at a local meetup.com Mommy group. In case you are interested in checking out some local hangouts at your new place.

Chelle said...

WOW!! You are amazing!!

Hoping things get settled a bit for you now!