Julia's speech has just exploded! Yesterday, she pointed to her nose and said, "deus", then pointed to her neck and said, "nnne," for "neck" then pointed to her tummy and said, "maaa" for "maag" and followed shortly after by "b" for bellybutton. She's also saying "oe-huh" for eyes, and "ears" sound kind of the same. Lots of ending consonants absent, but she's actually saying several things that are now recognizable to us. So exciting!
I read a word book to her and Emma, and both of them said,
"Boom" for tree
"Huy" for "huis" (house)
"Cah" for car
"Pop" for doll
Today was the first time I heard Julia ask for her dad. We went for a long walk in the stroller and she said, "Daddy?" (he was at work)
Emma also attempted to say "blom."
We took an hourlong drive to a neighboring city, and I sat next to Emma, who suddenly started talking non-stop. Such an adorable little chatterbox - she seems to have just found her voice.
It was the funniest stream of consciousness. She strung together all of the words she knew into one adamant sentence. "mamma daddy teddy doedoe car ball" and so on.
March 27 update
Ada's words have really picked up the last few days. She's now saying "blou" (blue) more often, and walks around pointing at her nose and saying "neus." She looked at herself in the mirror, and squished her nose with one hand, said "neus" and then pointed at herself in the mirror with the other hand. She cracked herself up. It looked like she was mocking herself.
She also says, "no," and "nee" and "teddy." Ada has basically started saying all of the words her sisters have been saying for a week or two, which is amazing, considering that she has been very focused on learning to walk. She says "pie" for "piesang" (banana), and "boh" for "bottle" and "b" for "bellybutton."
She understands and points to her head, hair, eyes, nose, ears, shoulders, tummy, feet/toes, hands, fingers, and mouth. In addition to these, Emma and Julia also know "neck" and "back." They're all starting to understand "tongue," and we're working on cheecks and teeth now.
Our nanny, an OT student, remarked last week that her motor planning is remarkable for a kid her age. Very encouraging. She's shifting her weight easily, and figuring out how to climb into and out of boxes, climb on the couch, and is consistently sliding down feet first from low raised surfaces, like an air bed.
Her balance is improving by the day, and I'm amazed at how freely she moves. She dances. Often. She twirls in circles when she hears a song she likes, or when we sing "Ring around the rosie." (yes, I know the history, but you know, I played this as a kid and I'm not scarred.)
Because of this song, they all understand and say, "down." In fact, they head toward the floor just before we get to the "all fall down" part while saying, "down."
All 3 say, "done" and "klaar," especially when they're done with meals or bottles. Yes, *gasp* they're not off bottles yet. They drink from sippy cups during the day, but to get their vitamins and probiotics in, we use the little NICU bottles. They can say, "boh" for "bottle."
They definitely know "ja" (yes) and "no/nee." They are too funny when saying "yes," it sounds more like "uh-ja-ah." They say this with a funny inflection that cracks me up.
Earlier this week, I started asking them to sit when we read, or when I hand them their sippies. For the most part, they listen and I'm blown away by that.
Julia and Emma consistently point to "ball," "car" "teddy" "maan" (moon) in books and know those objects. They recognize many more, but those are the ones that they say while pointing out the correct object. Other animals, for example, they recognize and will make the appropriate sound to imitate the animal, but they won't say the animal name yet.
They're imitating sounds much more often, and I realized that when reading the Sandra Boynton book, "Doggies" to them. It's a counting book, and each dog has a unique bark. We had a Scottie, so I imitated the "bow wow wow" of the Scotty, the "n n n n" yelp, and the "Ar roof" of the Afghan (my husband used to have an Afghan.) When I was about midway through the book (the sounds repeat), it sounded like we were running a kennel! All 3 of them were barking/howling/imitating like crazy!! I just burst out laughing at my little pack of wolves.
Unlike her sisters who say, "neigh" when asked about the sound a horse makes, Ada clicks her tongue like I always do when we play on the rocking horse. It's adorable. Whenever she sees a picture of a horse, or the horses-on-a-stick, she clicks.
All 3 now say, "book." Ada chews on books (4th eyetooth coming in), so I sometimes place books we've read out of reach on the kitchen counter. She knows they're there, and will walk over, reach, and say, "book, book, book."
Tonight, Emma said, "stop and go" (thank you, Little People schoolbus.) Emma also said, "juju" a pet name a friend gave her sister, Julia. It was the first recognizable name for one of their sisters.
Julia is now able to make the guttural "g" sound. I was floored when she said, "oog" (eye) perfectly as all 3 of the girls have been omitting the consonants at the end of words.
A dear friend took photos of them when they were 11 months old and framed it for us as a first birthday present. The pictures of their little eyes and feet hang in the hallway, and we point them out before heading to bed every night. It's part of our nighttime routine, to say goodnight to the pictures on the wall.
Last night, there was much crabbiness in our house, and so we looked at some of the other pics leading to the nursery, but skipped the eyes/feet photos and headed straight for the cribs. Julia let me have it! She was saying, "oog oog oog oog" all the way to the crib, with increasing intensity and urgency. I turned back and we went to look at their little eyes and toes on the photos, because she was just that cute. Routine matters.
I stay in the nursery another few minutes after my husband has left the room. I pick them up one by one, and sing to them. A simple lullabye. This is my selfish time with each of them. A chance for me to be still, to be thankful, to just breathe, and to just love on them without the million things that need to happen every day to keep our little show on the road.
I tell each baby I love her. Usually, I say goodnight, and blow 3 kisses as I pull the door closed behind me. The past week or so, they've been blowing kisses back. So sweet.
Two nights ago, I also told them each just how much I love them, and how impressed and proud I am of the things they do (I used different examples for each child), and how smart I think they are. After my little spiel, Ada gave me such a heartfelt kiss, and made a "mwah" sound as she giggled. It was incredibly tender.
Then I spoke to Julia, and whispered into her ear, and when I was done, she leaned in and held me tighter and gave me a kiss too. I thought it was just coincidence, but then Emma did the exact same thing. She leaned her head against me, squeezed me a little tighter with her arms, and then picked her head up and made, "mwah" as she kissed me. It's obvious to me now that they understand every word I whispered to them.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Coping
So I'm still trying to make sense of where we're at. I don't treat my kids any different post-diagnosis than I did pre-diagnosis. Yet, it feels as if something has shifted in my understanding of my life, my children, and our future.
I have more patience with their meltdowns because I know it stems from their inability to process it all. There's more understanding when things get crazy and I have one toddler banging her head, another throwing herself backwards and bumping her head before I can catch her, and a third one just flailing and crying. It doesn't help that they pick up on one another's cues which obviously makes every meltdown an epic fail in our household.
It's challenging for me to ascertain when they're just overtired like typical kids, or melting down like typical kids, versus something more going on. Post-diagnosis, they don't get away with more, but they do get more empathy while we're in the thick of it.
I also feel curiously validated. I wasn't just imagining some of their struggles. My concerns have certainly been dismissed by our pediatrician, our friends and family. In fact, our pediatrician didn't think it was necessary to send Ada for an eval with a neurologist, but because our PT insisted, I persuaded our pediatrician to give us the referral "just to rule things out."
After we received the first diagnosis, our ped didn't call or follow up. After the 2nd and 3rd diagnosis, again, nothing. Needless to say, I have changed pediatricians.
What was just a vague but persistent idea of slight atypicalness now has a name. There were things that I noticed, and wondered about, that I now know are related to paraparesis and hemiparesis.
The head lag they had as babies. The lack of protective reflex when they fall backward. The side preferences that Julia and Emma display. Little feet turning inward when walking. Standing on tiptoes. Ada's little legs caving in under her like jelly. She doesn't lose her balance like a tree being felled, she just kind of implodes like a building being detonated. It breaks my heart for a nanosecond, until I see her pushing herself back up and marching on. Determined.
My kids get tired easily. They sleep more during the day than other kids their age, always have. It's certainly a preemie thing, but it's also a Cerebral Palsy thing. Sometimes they flail more. They bang their heads when they're frustrated. They wipe out more than other kids learning to walk.
All of this adds a little more stress, and a little more self-doubt. I am already outnumbered, but there's nothing that makes you feel like an awful parent more than your kid getting hurt. My inability to protect them from themselves is what I struggle with most.
I am usually a step ahead when it looks like they're headed towards trouble. You know, walking towards a toy that they can trip over, or headed towards a ride-on toy that can slide away from them as they try to climb on, or sticking out a hand to pull hair/poke their sister in the eye/grab their sister's nose. That kind of thing. However, the suddenness of some of their frustrations and exhaustions escalating to a head-bang on a wooden floor, or a fall backwards on a hardwoord floor... that's the stuff that scares me. Because I often can't predict it, or hold all 3 simultaneously.
It's also weird in a sense, because they are so mildly affected that most people wouldn't even know they have this diagnosis. That's both good and bad. Good, because they most likely won't be treated any differently, and will be able to live independent lives. Bad, because they may need a little help and may not get it, because people won't realize they might be physically incapable of doing something other kids take for granted.
They may struggle with scissors and writing when they're older, or have trouble playing the piano. They may trip and fall more often than other kids. Their fine motor skills may be delayed. Or not. We just don't know.
All in all, I'm finding my way back to optimism, with sprinklings of gratitude and a dash of "I can handle this" mixed in with the worst-case uncertainty. I'm still working on letting go of the guilt. Check back in about 20 years on that one.
I have more patience with their meltdowns because I know it stems from their inability to process it all. There's more understanding when things get crazy and I have one toddler banging her head, another throwing herself backwards and bumping her head before I can catch her, and a third one just flailing and crying. It doesn't help that they pick up on one another's cues which obviously makes every meltdown an epic fail in our household.
It's challenging for me to ascertain when they're just overtired like typical kids, or melting down like typical kids, versus something more going on. Post-diagnosis, they don't get away with more, but they do get more empathy while we're in the thick of it.
I also feel curiously validated. I wasn't just imagining some of their struggles. My concerns have certainly been dismissed by our pediatrician, our friends and family. In fact, our pediatrician didn't think it was necessary to send Ada for an eval with a neurologist, but because our PT insisted, I persuaded our pediatrician to give us the referral "just to rule things out."
After we received the first diagnosis, our ped didn't call or follow up. After the 2nd and 3rd diagnosis, again, nothing. Needless to say, I have changed pediatricians.
What was just a vague but persistent idea of slight atypicalness now has a name. There were things that I noticed, and wondered about, that I now know are related to paraparesis and hemiparesis.
The head lag they had as babies. The lack of protective reflex when they fall backward. The side preferences that Julia and Emma display. Little feet turning inward when walking. Standing on tiptoes. Ada's little legs caving in under her like jelly. She doesn't lose her balance like a tree being felled, she just kind of implodes like a building being detonated. It breaks my heart for a nanosecond, until I see her pushing herself back up and marching on. Determined.
My kids get tired easily. They sleep more during the day than other kids their age, always have. It's certainly a preemie thing, but it's also a Cerebral Palsy thing. Sometimes they flail more. They bang their heads when they're frustrated. They wipe out more than other kids learning to walk.
All of this adds a little more stress, and a little more self-doubt. I am already outnumbered, but there's nothing that makes you feel like an awful parent more than your kid getting hurt. My inability to protect them from themselves is what I struggle with most.
I am usually a step ahead when it looks like they're headed towards trouble. You know, walking towards a toy that they can trip over, or headed towards a ride-on toy that can slide away from them as they try to climb on, or sticking out a hand to pull hair/poke their sister in the eye/grab their sister's nose. That kind of thing. However, the suddenness of some of their frustrations and exhaustions escalating to a head-bang on a wooden floor, or a fall backwards on a hardwoord floor... that's the stuff that scares me. Because I often can't predict it, or hold all 3 simultaneously.
It's also weird in a sense, because they are so mildly affected that most people wouldn't even know they have this diagnosis. That's both good and bad. Good, because they most likely won't be treated any differently, and will be able to live independent lives. Bad, because they may need a little help and may not get it, because people won't realize they might be physically incapable of doing something other kids take for granted.
They may struggle with scissors and writing when they're older, or have trouble playing the piano. They may trip and fall more often than other kids. Their fine motor skills may be delayed. Or not. We just don't know.
All in all, I'm finding my way back to optimism, with sprinklings of gratitude and a dash of "I can handle this" mixed in with the worst-case uncertainty. I'm still working on letting go of the guilt. Check back in about 20 years on that one.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Speech at 16 months
Animal sounds and actions they know:
Owl - hoo hoo
Gorilla - thump chest
Sheep - baah and meh (sheep are bilingual in our household - LOL!)
Cow - mooh
Wolf - ahoooo! ahoooo!
Pig - snorts (can't say "oink" yet.) They crinkle their noses and snort - it's hysterical.
Monkey - uhuhuh, makes ASL sign for monkey
Chicken - puhk puhk puhk/flaps arms like chicken wings
Giraffe - nods yes with "long" neck
Penguin - shakes head "no" (thank you, Eric Carle book)
Buffalo - raises shoulders
Crocodile - wriggles hips, they try to say "crocodile" and it sounds
like "kohkohdai" hilarious
Dog - woof
Fish - opens and closes mouth (no sound)
Snake - ssss (they saw real snakes at a zoo recently)
Turtle - Puts finger in front of mouth for quiet and in one of their
books, the turtle is quiet
Seal - claps hands without bending arms at elbow
Elephant - stomps
Donkey - hee haw, kicks
Horse - neigh
I was busy asking Julia some of the above. I stopped before I had asked them all, and she suddently started saying and showing me the ones I had omitted! I forgot the wolf, and she said, "ahoo" and pointed to the moon, and then thumped her chest to tell me I also forgot to ask about the gorilla. Man, they're already checking up on me. This amazed me, because it was the fist time that Julia indicated to me that she was memorizing what I have and haven't asked.
This morning, Julia walked around with a little wolf soft toy, and kept saying, "ahoo, ahoo, ahoo" with pouty lips and looking up at the moon, and in an unnaturally high-pitched voice. Her wolf howls are beyond freaking adorable.
There are also other funny things they do:
If I say "Stop!" Julia and Emma will put their hands up showing "stop."
They can say, "Go" thanks to the "Go, Dogs, Go" book. It's a favorite. They also wave down imaginary traffic when we get to the green traffic light in the book, "Go, dogs, go, it's green ahead."
When we say, "Hallo, Possums!" they wave like the British comedic character, Dame Edna. We have their dad to thank for this one. Oi!!
We call "Cheerios" "O's" - and they can all sign "o" using one hand. I've been doing this for ages, but they only recently started signing this one back to us. Now they sign and say, "Ohs" simultaneously.
When we say, "Oh my goodness!" they all grab hold of their heads.
They recognize the following words and can point to these body parts, but are not attempting to say the words yet. "Nose" is about the only one they can say.
Head
Shoulders
Nose
Bellybutton
Feet
Toes
Tummy (they respond to this correctly when asked in both Afrikaans and English.)
Words they say clearly and often:
Hi
Bye
Tatta
Mamma
Pappa
Daddy
Teddy
Beer (Bear)
Doedoe (to sleep)
Baba
Ouma (grandma)
Oupa (grandpa)
Ne
Blou (blue)
Geel (yellow)
Sneeu (snow - sounds like "deeu" when they say it)
Skoen (shoe - sounds like "doen" when they pronounce it)
Op
Da (Radar, our dog)
Row
Ball and bal
Doek/doekie (Julia only)
Uh-oh
Ai (like oy vey)
Done/Klaar. In Afrikaans, it sounds like "kaa"
Ada also says "num" for yummy food (and will say "num" when she picks up the Yummy/Yucky book)
Daarsy (there you go)
Da
Mamma? (always a question, as in: "Where are you?" lol)
Pappa? (always a question)
Dadda
Ada makes sounds when she reads books, like she's reading to all of us. She's starting to make sounds like she's telling us a long story, with cadence and rhythm. It's beyond cute when she pretends to "speak" in sentences, and looks at us, like "Are you getting all that?"
Yesterday, Ada was watching her dad throw tennis balls for the dog. She made her first almost-sentence that I could comprehend, "Dadda ball woof!"
It was just incredible hearing her put those three concepts together logically.
Emma can find and point to the "ball" in the "Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear Touch the Ground" book. Anything round, is a "ball" in her world. She walks around all day long, alternating between "ball" and "woof" with "mamma" sprinkled in every now and then for dramatic effect. Julia and Emma aren't able to point to anything in particular yet when I ask them to.
Emma kisses pictures of all animate objects in books. She leans in and smacks her lips if it's an animal, human or something resembling one of those two categories, e.g. a picture of a doll. If you have eyes, you're going to be kissed! She isn't very discriminate, but doesn't kiss inanimate objects like photos of balls or pictures of cars.
Julia and Ada have started copying Emma, so now we have to stop mid-read to kiss all the animals. It's way too cute to handle.
Owl - hoo hoo
Gorilla - thump chest
Sheep - baah and meh (sheep are bilingual in our household - LOL!)
Cow - mooh
Wolf - ahoooo! ahoooo!
Pig - snorts (can't say "oink" yet.) They crinkle their noses and snort - it's hysterical.
Monkey - uhuhuh, makes ASL sign for monkey
Chicken - puhk puhk puhk/flaps arms like chicken wings
Giraffe - nods yes with "long" neck
Penguin - shakes head "no" (thank you, Eric Carle book)
Buffalo - raises shoulders
Crocodile - wriggles hips, they try to say "crocodile" and it sounds
like "kohkohdai" hilarious
Dog - woof
Fish - opens and closes mouth (no sound)
Snake - ssss (they saw real snakes at a zoo recently)
Turtle - Puts finger in front of mouth for quiet and in one of their
books, the turtle is quiet
Seal - claps hands without bending arms at elbow
Elephant - stomps
Donkey - hee haw, kicks
Horse - neigh
I was busy asking Julia some of the above. I stopped before I had asked them all, and she suddently started saying and showing me the ones I had omitted! I forgot the wolf, and she said, "ahoo" and pointed to the moon, and then thumped her chest to tell me I also forgot to ask about the gorilla. Man, they're already checking up on me. This amazed me, because it was the fist time that Julia indicated to me that she was memorizing what I have and haven't asked.
This morning, Julia walked around with a little wolf soft toy, and kept saying, "ahoo, ahoo, ahoo" with pouty lips and looking up at the moon, and in an unnaturally high-pitched voice. Her wolf howls are beyond freaking adorable.
There are also other funny things they do:
If I say "Stop!" Julia and Emma will put their hands up showing "stop."
They can say, "Go" thanks to the "Go, Dogs, Go" book. It's a favorite. They also wave down imaginary traffic when we get to the green traffic light in the book, "Go, dogs, go, it's green ahead."
When we say, "Hallo, Possums!" they wave like the British comedic character, Dame Edna. We have their dad to thank for this one. Oi!!
We call "Cheerios" "O's" - and they can all sign "o" using one hand. I've been doing this for ages, but they only recently started signing this one back to us. Now they sign and say, "Ohs" simultaneously.
When we say, "Oh my goodness!" they all grab hold of their heads.
They recognize the following words and can point to these body parts, but are not attempting to say the words yet. "Nose" is about the only one they can say.
Head
Shoulders
Nose
Bellybutton
Feet
Toes
Tummy (they respond to this correctly when asked in both Afrikaans and English.)
Words they say clearly and often:
Hi
Bye
Tatta
Mamma
Pappa
Daddy
Teddy
Beer (Bear)
Doedoe (to sleep)
Baba
Ouma (grandma)
Oupa (grandpa)
Ne
Blou (blue)
Geel (yellow)
Sneeu (snow - sounds like "deeu" when they say it)
Skoen (shoe - sounds like "doen" when they pronounce it)
Op
Da (Radar, our dog)
Row
Ball and bal
Doek/doekie (Julia only)
Uh-oh
Ai (like oy vey)
Done/Klaar. In Afrikaans, it sounds like "kaa"
Ada also says "num" for yummy food (and will say "num" when she picks up the Yummy/Yucky book)
Daarsy (there you go)
Da
Mamma? (always a question, as in: "Where are you?" lol)
Pappa? (always a question)
Dadda
Ada makes sounds when she reads books, like she's reading to all of us. She's starting to make sounds like she's telling us a long story, with cadence and rhythm. It's beyond cute when she pretends to "speak" in sentences, and looks at us, like "Are you getting all that?"
Yesterday, Ada was watching her dad throw tennis balls for the dog. She made her first almost-sentence that I could comprehend, "Dadda ball woof!"
It was just incredible hearing her put those three concepts together logically.
Emma can find and point to the "ball" in the "Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear Touch the Ground" book. Anything round, is a "ball" in her world. She walks around all day long, alternating between "ball" and "woof" with "mamma" sprinkled in every now and then for dramatic effect. Julia and Emma aren't able to point to anything in particular yet when I ask them to.
Emma kisses pictures of all animate objects in books. She leans in and smacks her lips if it's an animal, human or something resembling one of those two categories, e.g. a picture of a doll. If you have eyes, you're going to be kissed! She isn't very discriminate, but doesn't kiss inanimate objects like photos of balls or pictures of cars.
Julia and Ada have started copying Emma, so now we have to stop mid-read to kiss all the animals. It's way too cute to handle.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Ada is walking!
Ada has figured out how to walk. She started taking steps on Feb. 10, and as of this week, she is taking about 7-10 steps at a time before plopping down. On the same day we received Julia and Emma's diagnosis, Ada took 15 steps on her own, and it was the most I've ever seen her do. It was incredible to watch and just the glimmer of hope I needed after all the recent bad news.
At one point, my dad said, "Look behind you - look who's coming your way!" and there was Ada walking over to me all by herself. With wide open, outstretched arms, I saw her last few steps before she fell into my arms, and then I realized she had walked about 4 yards total.
After that, she repeated her stunt a few times. She can't seem to get enough of this walking thing! She is one very determined child. Ada seems to be cruising more than her sisters did when they started walking. She walks along walls, holds onto furniture, and in general just wants to be upright more than she wants to crawl.
She's fast as lightning now with crawling, which has also been surprising given how many months she avoided crawling altogether. This child has surprised me at every turn. I just love seeing her progress on her own timeline, and I love her zest. She is so very different from her sisters. They tend to move in a little pack, but she often chooses to do her own thing. She flips toys over, takes them apart, investigates things, finds buttons and switches, points things out others are oblivious to, and wants to page through books herself rather than listen to me read. She is very social, makes great eye contact, smiles for the camera, and is a very bubbly and outgoing child in general, but she can also totally tune out the world and lose herself in something that interests her.
It happens more and more frequently now that Ada will be "reading" her own book, but answer whatever question I ask of Julia and Emma while we're reading a different book. Ada will be paging through a book about colors and shapes, for example, and stopping at specific pages to look rather intently at a particularly pleasing shape. Without looking up, she'll then say, "hoo hoo" in response to me asking Julia and Emma about the sound an owl makes. Ada is just seems so bored - she has to multitask! ha ha.
Physically, she seems to be getting stronger and sturdier by the day. Today she managed to bend down and pick something up before continuing her walk. She is pushing up from a quad position to standing, without holding onto other objects. Rather remarkable progress given her diagnosis.
Her legs are still pretty wobbly, but she is managing to regain her balance more often rather than falling down, which is incredibly encouraging. Given her progression until now, I wasn't expecting her to start wanting to walk for many months, but she has blown me away by walking at 15 months.
Ada has been having the toughest time with her eyeteeth coming in. Julia and Emma cut theirs ages ago, but Ada is getting them one at a time and it's been excruciatingly slow and painful. In the wee hours of Wednesday morning, I was up with all 3 kids. Julia and Emma are battling a tummy bug, but they eventually settled down again. Ada, however, would have none of it. So I pulled out duvets and pillows, and laid down beside her on the playroom foam floor.
We played like that for about 90 minutes, then she started settling down when she saw I was starting to doze off. Next thing I know, she leans over and gently gives me a kiss! Complete with smacking lips. Mwah! Totally unprompted. It was the sweetest moment ever. I still get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about how adorable that was.
She then allowed me to snuggle her, and we slept like that until daybreak. In triplet land, these precious one-on-one moments are extraordinarily hard to come by. I cherish them - even when they come at the cost of sleep.
At one point, my dad said, "Look behind you - look who's coming your way!" and there was Ada walking over to me all by herself. With wide open, outstretched arms, I saw her last few steps before she fell into my arms, and then I realized she had walked about 4 yards total.
After that, she repeated her stunt a few times. She can't seem to get enough of this walking thing! She is one very determined child. Ada seems to be cruising more than her sisters did when they started walking. She walks along walls, holds onto furniture, and in general just wants to be upright more than she wants to crawl.
She's fast as lightning now with crawling, which has also been surprising given how many months she avoided crawling altogether. This child has surprised me at every turn. I just love seeing her progress on her own timeline, and I love her zest. She is so very different from her sisters. They tend to move in a little pack, but she often chooses to do her own thing. She flips toys over, takes them apart, investigates things, finds buttons and switches, points things out others are oblivious to, and wants to page through books herself rather than listen to me read. She is very social, makes great eye contact, smiles for the camera, and is a very bubbly and outgoing child in general, but she can also totally tune out the world and lose herself in something that interests her.
It happens more and more frequently now that Ada will be "reading" her own book, but answer whatever question I ask of Julia and Emma while we're reading a different book. Ada will be paging through a book about colors and shapes, for example, and stopping at specific pages to look rather intently at a particularly pleasing shape. Without looking up, she'll then say, "hoo hoo" in response to me asking Julia and Emma about the sound an owl makes. Ada is just seems so bored - she has to multitask! ha ha.
Physically, she seems to be getting stronger and sturdier by the day. Today she managed to bend down and pick something up before continuing her walk. She is pushing up from a quad position to standing, without holding onto other objects. Rather remarkable progress given her diagnosis.
Her legs are still pretty wobbly, but she is managing to regain her balance more often rather than falling down, which is incredibly encouraging. Given her progression until now, I wasn't expecting her to start wanting to walk for many months, but she has blown me away by walking at 15 months.
Ada has been having the toughest time with her eyeteeth coming in. Julia and Emma cut theirs ages ago, but Ada is getting them one at a time and it's been excruciatingly slow and painful. In the wee hours of Wednesday morning, I was up with all 3 kids. Julia and Emma are battling a tummy bug, but they eventually settled down again. Ada, however, would have none of it. So I pulled out duvets and pillows, and laid down beside her on the playroom foam floor.
We played like that for about 90 minutes, then she started settling down when she saw I was starting to doze off. Next thing I know, she leans over and gently gives me a kiss! Complete with smacking lips. Mwah! Totally unprompted. It was the sweetest moment ever. I still get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about how adorable that was.
She then allowed me to snuggle her, and we slept like that until daybreak. In triplet land, these precious one-on-one moments are extraordinarily hard to come by. I cherish them - even when they come at the cost of sleep.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
One for all and all for one
Julia and Emma received a similar diagnosis to Ada's. All 3 of my children have mild cerebral palsy.
Those are heartbreaking, excruciating words to have to write, but I guess I have to start facing reality and this is as good a place as any to start. Today I'm grieving the life we thought we'd have, but tomorrow I'll get up and fight again.
Thank you all for letting me know you're out there, that you understand, and that you care.
Those are heartbreaking, excruciating words to have to write, but I guess I have to start facing reality and this is as good a place as any to start. Today I'm grieving the life we thought we'd have, but tomorrow I'll get up and fight again.
Thank you all for letting me know you're out there, that you understand, and that you care.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
A diagnosis nobody wants to hear
I've been holding out on sharing this, because I didn't even know where to begin.
Ada was diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy in the fall. Shockingly, she must have had a PVL (brain bleed) the neonatologists were not aware of. Yet, her cognitive function is thankfully unaffected. She is one smart little kid. Receiving this diagnosis was the hardest day of my life. And I don't say that lightly, given the many crappy days I've had the past few years with IF, Endo, HELLP, a hematoma, shingles, mastitis, etc.
It sucked the life out of me, and in many ways, I am still coming to terms with it, and will probably be processing what this truly means forever. Initially, I just sobbed for days, but had to pull my shit together to function at home and at work. I often cried on my way home from work, because it was the only time I had to myself, the only time I had to think. Probably just was well, or I would've been a train wreck, had I allowed myself to spiral into more self pity and more guilt.
Because in many ways, this is my fault. There is a higher risk of CP among triplets. Who knows what went wrong during my pregnancy, her birth, or her time in the NICU. But if we hadn't had to resort to ART, she wasn't a triplet, and I had carried her longer, this most likely would not have happened.
It took me many months to tell my closest friends. I didn't know what to say, or how they would react. I didn't want anyone treating her differently, pitying her, or worse, limiting her with what they thought she could or couldn't do.
I was already feeling utterly defeated, overwhelmed and inadequate to raise triplets, let alone a child with additional needs. I was barely coping with their PT and speech therapy, the eval appointments, and all the scheduling, that both the practical aspects and the emotional toll was just too much to comprehend.
I think anyone with multiples, and anyone with a special needs child can relate to the level of overwhelmedness one feels every day. That's a sort of crazy baseline we just all get used to and learn to deal with. It just never lets up, despite the infinite happy moments, and much fulfillment. It is a struggle to keep feeling like you're being a good parent despite the utter exhaustion and demands on your sanity. But the combination of Ada's diagnosis and having 3 teething toddlers who are still not sleeping through the night, pushed me beyond what I thought I could handle.
Yet, I am continuing to fight for her. To get her the services she needs. To work with her on each and every one of her therapy goals. And as I've had time to process the news, and as she is making strides, the diagnosis has become less painful to face.
But it is not over. Tomorrow, we head to the neurologist with Julia and Emma. Tonight, I am praying that they will be spared similar diagnoses. If you're reading this, please let me know you're out there.
Ada was diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy in the fall. Shockingly, she must have had a PVL (brain bleed) the neonatologists were not aware of. Yet, her cognitive function is thankfully unaffected. She is one smart little kid. Receiving this diagnosis was the hardest day of my life. And I don't say that lightly, given the many crappy days I've had the past few years with IF, Endo, HELLP, a hematoma, shingles, mastitis, etc.
It sucked the life out of me, and in many ways, I am still coming to terms with it, and will probably be processing what this truly means forever. Initially, I just sobbed for days, but had to pull my shit together to function at home and at work. I often cried on my way home from work, because it was the only time I had to myself, the only time I had to think. Probably just was well, or I would've been a train wreck, had I allowed myself to spiral into more self pity and more guilt.
Because in many ways, this is my fault. There is a higher risk of CP among triplets. Who knows what went wrong during my pregnancy, her birth, or her time in the NICU. But if we hadn't had to resort to ART, she wasn't a triplet, and I had carried her longer, this most likely would not have happened.
It took me many months to tell my closest friends. I didn't know what to say, or how they would react. I didn't want anyone treating her differently, pitying her, or worse, limiting her with what they thought she could or couldn't do.
I was already feeling utterly defeated, overwhelmed and inadequate to raise triplets, let alone a child with additional needs. I was barely coping with their PT and speech therapy, the eval appointments, and all the scheduling, that both the practical aspects and the emotional toll was just too much to comprehend.
I think anyone with multiples, and anyone with a special needs child can relate to the level of overwhelmedness one feels every day. That's a sort of crazy baseline we just all get used to and learn to deal with. It just never lets up, despite the infinite happy moments, and much fulfillment. It is a struggle to keep feeling like you're being a good parent despite the utter exhaustion and demands on your sanity. But the combination of Ada's diagnosis and having 3 teething toddlers who are still not sleeping through the night, pushed me beyond what I thought I could handle.
Yet, I am continuing to fight for her. To get her the services she needs. To work with her on each and every one of her therapy goals. And as I've had time to process the news, and as she is making strides, the diagnosis has become less painful to face.
But it is not over. Tomorrow, we head to the neurologist with Julia and Emma. Tonight, I am praying that they will be spared similar diagnoses. If you're reading this, please let me know you're out there.
Friday, February 04, 2011
Adoption and ART Grants
For my friends who need help with funds for adoption or ART, please look here:
Parenthood for Me: Grants
Parenthood for Me is now accepting applications for their 2011 grant cycle. Visit their website and read the FAQ for all the requirements. Deadline for submissions is May 1, 2011.
My RE "liked" them on FB; that's how I heard about them.
Parenthood for Me: Grants
Parenthood for Me is now accepting applications for their 2011 grant cycle. Visit their website and read the FAQ for all the requirements. Deadline for submissions is May 1, 2011.
My RE "liked" them on FB; that's how I heard about them.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Communication and other progress
Ada has started taking steps this week. Just 2 or 3 steps at a time, but steps nonetheless. It is the most beautiful movement to see.
She is moving more freely by the day and now crawls the normal way. She is lightning fast and coordinated on all fours now, not at all like when she started to crawl. She still scoots on her behind every now and then.
She was the first to climb onto our Copenhagen chairs, and Julia and Emma soon followed suit.
Interestingly, I have also noted other changes in Ada that seems to have coincided with her motor skills improving. She has become much more affectionate and attached to me and her dad the past few weeks. Whenever I'm away from her, she calls me with the most adorable upward inflection in her voice. "Mamma?" Like she's asking where I am, not really calling me to come. I must confess, sometimes I don't answer her right away, because it's sooo cute to hear her call for me. When I respond with an answer, she'll continue playing if her dad or someone else is with her.
She now sticks her arms straight up (90 degrees) and asks to be picked up and hugged or snuggled. If she wants attention, she'll lay her head down on my lap or lean into me. It's so sweet, because she's been very aloof and independent all these months. She reminds me of a very intelligent cat who has the world all figured out. You know the kind I'm talking about, the kind who is off in their own world and does things on their terms. Ada will snuggle when *she* wants to, but I can't make her. She won't have it when I offer it (but I keep hugging her anyway), so it's delightful when she asks for attention.
Every night, we read before bedtime. We easily go through 10 or more books, and their attention span is improving rapidly. It's mind blowing to watch them linger near while I read.
Emma now picks up a specific book from the pile every night and will hand it to me. I love that she's picking out books she wants to hear. It feels like such a huge accomplishment after all these months that I've been reading to myself!
Two nights ago, we were just playing (no books or animals in sight), when Emma - out of nowhere - started making like a gorilla (chest thumping and sound). She smiled at me with a "Get it, mamma? Get it?" kind of look on her face. And then it clicked for me! She wanted to hear the "From Head to Toe" book by Eric Carle!! It's her and Julia's favorite and it has a gorilla on the cover. You should've seen her face when I took the book from the bookshelf and brought it over to her. It was a definite "Yes! My mom understood!" She simply beamed. I'm constantly amazed by how my children find ways to communicate with me.
The incredible thing about triplets is that they're always listening. Even when you're playing with one child, two others are absorbing what you're saying or showing that one child. I'm finding this more and more as they're now able to start vocalizing and repeating words and sounds back to me.
I'll be asking Julia what sound the cow makes, and Ada will start mooooh!ing from the hallway where she's playing with her dad. It's pretty funny and cool.
They all know the sound for dog, cow, horse, owl, and sheep. Ada is the only one who tries to say "quack" when I show her a duck. It sounds more like "ka ka ka" but she's trying.
They also try to say, "good boy" for the dog and it comes out, "gubu", and Emma says "woof" whenever the dog barks or yelps to be with us.
Julia started running tonight. It's like she can't contain all that energy and simply has to sprint. She hasn't fallen (yet!) while doing running, but it looks like she'll speed up and not know how to bring herself to a halt again.
They also get ahead of themselves often. Tonight, Emma was making like a monkey while I was still on the previous animal. I couldn't figure out why she was doing that until I turned the page! Her memory is obviously better than mine. Julia does the same thing. I'll be singing "Itsy bitsy spider" and will be on the "down came the rain" part when she'll be "wash(ing) the spider out" already. I guess even one-year olds have figured out that parents are way slow.
She is moving more freely by the day and now crawls the normal way. She is lightning fast and coordinated on all fours now, not at all like when she started to crawl. She still scoots on her behind every now and then.
She was the first to climb onto our Copenhagen chairs, and Julia and Emma soon followed suit.
Interestingly, I have also noted other changes in Ada that seems to have coincided with her motor skills improving. She has become much more affectionate and attached to me and her dad the past few weeks. Whenever I'm away from her, she calls me with the most adorable upward inflection in her voice. "Mamma?" Like she's asking where I am, not really calling me to come. I must confess, sometimes I don't answer her right away, because it's sooo cute to hear her call for me. When I respond with an answer, she'll continue playing if her dad or someone else is with her.
She now sticks her arms straight up (90 degrees) and asks to be picked up and hugged or snuggled. If she wants attention, she'll lay her head down on my lap or lean into me. It's so sweet, because she's been very aloof and independent all these months. She reminds me of a very intelligent cat who has the world all figured out. You know the kind I'm talking about, the kind who is off in their own world and does things on their terms. Ada will snuggle when *she* wants to, but I can't make her. She won't have it when I offer it (but I keep hugging her anyway), so it's delightful when she asks for attention.
Every night, we read before bedtime. We easily go through 10 or more books, and their attention span is improving rapidly. It's mind blowing to watch them linger near while I read.
Emma now picks up a specific book from the pile every night and will hand it to me. I love that she's picking out books she wants to hear. It feels like such a huge accomplishment after all these months that I've been reading to myself!
Two nights ago, we were just playing (no books or animals in sight), when Emma - out of nowhere - started making like a gorilla (chest thumping and sound). She smiled at me with a "Get it, mamma? Get it?" kind of look on her face. And then it clicked for me! She wanted to hear the "From Head to Toe" book by Eric Carle!! It's her and Julia's favorite and it has a gorilla on the cover. You should've seen her face when I took the book from the bookshelf and brought it over to her. It was a definite "Yes! My mom understood!" She simply beamed. I'm constantly amazed by how my children find ways to communicate with me.
The incredible thing about triplets is that they're always listening. Even when you're playing with one child, two others are absorbing what you're saying or showing that one child. I'm finding this more and more as they're now able to start vocalizing and repeating words and sounds back to me.
I'll be asking Julia what sound the cow makes, and Ada will start mooooh!ing from the hallway where she's playing with her dad. It's pretty funny and cool.
They all know the sound for dog, cow, horse, owl, and sheep. Ada is the only one who tries to say "quack" when I show her a duck. It sounds more like "ka ka ka" but she's trying.
They also try to say, "good boy" for the dog and it comes out, "gubu", and Emma says "woof" whenever the dog barks or yelps to be with us.
Julia started running tonight. It's like she can't contain all that energy and simply has to sprint. She hasn't fallen (yet!) while doing running, but it looks like she'll speed up and not know how to bring herself to a halt again.
They also get ahead of themselves often. Tonight, Emma was making like a monkey while I was still on the previous animal. I couldn't figure out why she was doing that until I turned the page! Her memory is obviously better than mine. Julia does the same thing. I'll be singing "Itsy bitsy spider" and will be on the "down came the rain" part when she'll be "wash(ing) the spider out" already. I guess even one-year olds have figured out that parents are way slow.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
15 Months: Lots of Fun Antics
TEETH
Ada is currently cutting all 4 eyeteeth. She has her molars in, but had little gaps where the eyeteeth should be. In addition to the front teeth, Julia and Emma have their top and bottom molars, and eyeteeth. Their teething pattern matched tooth for tooth... yet another cue that they may share more DNA.
SLEEP... OR LACK THEREOF
We have had precious little sleep in this household since they were born. The first 5 months was just a nightmare sleep wise because of the sheer time it took to care for preemie triplets with severe reflux. Then they started teething at 4 months and haven't stopped since.
Just as we get the sleep and eat routine settled again, they get the next round of teeth. At least we now have 3 mouths full of pearly whites to show for it.
Ada has been so miserable in the night - even Ty.lenol or Mo.trin didn't do much to help ease her pain. So we've just been taking turns being up with her, mostly between midnight and 5am. On alternating nights, she'd be too exhausted and would sleep for a few more hours at a time, before waking again. It's been rough, because I honestly thought we'd all be sleeping through the night at this point.
On the positive side:
BOOKS AND ANIMALS
Emma picked up the "From Head to Toe" book by Eric Carle and brought it to me with a very clear gesture for me to read it to her. What a great moment!
She and Julia now stand in front of me whenever I read to them, paying close attention. With this book in particular, they do the movements when they see the picture. For example, they thump their chests - with fists - when they see the pic of the gorilla, they raise their shoulders for the buffalo, they imitate a monkey (wave arms) and make the sound, clap hands for the seal, and dance for the crocodile (wiggle hips). The above they'll do just by looking at the picture (without any cue from me). They don't "get" the penguin, donkey, and camel, but imitated the giraffe tonight for the first time. I get so excited when I see that they understand.
OTHER MONKEY BUSINESS
We were at the pediatrician for flu shots and Julia and Emma saw the orangutan decals on the wall, pointed to it, made the baby sign for monkey, and the sound. Ada pointed at it too, and although she makes other sounds and says other words, she's never been into the animal sounds or movements. She's definitely more analytical and independent. She will typically be off somewhere exploring and doing her own thing when I read books. Sometimes I can get her to sit on my lap and read with me, but she loses interest and almost always crawls off somewhere to go do her own thing.
Julia and Emma on the other hand, don't miss a beat. They surprised me when I read the "5 little monkeys jumping on a bed" book to them. The previous night, I wagged my finger and made a stern face when the "doctor" says, "no more monkeys jumping on the bed." Then the next night, when I reached that part in the book, both had little index fingers out, wagging, and made serious faces! Too freaking cute.
Julia pointed to a drawing of a zebra on a coffee cup today, and made the sound for horse.
When they see our dog, all 3 will go, "Woof!" They just LOVE being around him now. Julia and Emma are much gentler with the dog and will mostly just pet him or lean against him. Ada will touch him softly for awhile, and then suddenly grab him. His ears and tail are irresistible. We only allow them near the dog in short spurts, and while holding onto them, so we can whisk them away if needed. The dog is a very gentle, docile hound/retriever mix and I'm more concerned that they would hurt him than I am about him snapping at them. Although, I always want to be careful...
PRETEND PLAY
Ada is doing more and more pretend play. She'll "feed" the soft toys with the huge plastic "egg race" toy spoons and say, "num num." Julia and Emma are catching on too, and find it extremely funny when we pretend eat and feed.
All 3 are now "brushing" my teeth with their finger when I brush their teeth. Julia and Emma started doing that a few days ago. Ada did it tonight and absolutely cracked up. She was giggling and then belly laughing. It's hilarious what they find funny.
SNEEZING FOR LAUGHS
On that note: I put them down for a nap earlier this week, and just as I'm heading out of the door, Ada sneezed. So I said, "Bless you!" and then pretended to sneeze myself. 3 girls giggled. So I made another exaggerated pretend sneeze. Bigger laughs. And another. Even bigger laughs. And another. Belly laughs. I kept going for about 10 minutes and ended up calling grandpa and grandma into the nursery to watch, because it was just so.darn.funny.
OTHER RANDOM WORDS
As of this week, all three girls are saying, "ball." Ada has been dropping, rolling, and throwing balls for a long time, but Julia and Emma have only started doing that the past few weeks.
Ada said "kaboom" today when she dropped something.
Julia says, "doekie doekie" for diaper. She tends to repeat words two or three times.
When Emma walks around with a walking toy, she'll say, "Brrrm brrrm."
EMMA's ATTACHMENTS
Emma is much more attached to things that bring her comfort than her sisters. She would walk around with her blanket all day long like Linus if I let her. Because the blanket stays in her crib, she finds substitutes. Sometimes, it's a burp cloth, or grandma's scarf, and today it was her own sweater. She unzipped it herself, took it off, draped it around her neck, and proceeded to parade around like that for the better part of the afternoon and evening. She'll drape something around her, and then walk to the mirror to go look at herself! Such a little princess.
COUGHING
Ada coughed this morning while eating, and I think she might have refluxed slightly. She slapped her own chest while looking at me with an expression that said, "I've got this down, Mom." She must have seen me do that when something goes down the wrong pipe. It cracks me up when she mimicks something we haven't expressly "taught" her.
Ada is currently cutting all 4 eyeteeth. She has her molars in, but had little gaps where the eyeteeth should be. In addition to the front teeth, Julia and Emma have their top and bottom molars, and eyeteeth. Their teething pattern matched tooth for tooth... yet another cue that they may share more DNA.
SLEEP... OR LACK THEREOF
We have had precious little sleep in this household since they were born. The first 5 months was just a nightmare sleep wise because of the sheer time it took to care for preemie triplets with severe reflux. Then they started teething at 4 months and haven't stopped since.
Just as we get the sleep and eat routine settled again, they get the next round of teeth. At least we now have 3 mouths full of pearly whites to show for it.
Ada has been so miserable in the night - even Ty.lenol or Mo.trin didn't do much to help ease her pain. So we've just been taking turns being up with her, mostly between midnight and 5am. On alternating nights, she'd be too exhausted and would sleep for a few more hours at a time, before waking again. It's been rough, because I honestly thought we'd all be sleeping through the night at this point.
On the positive side:
BOOKS AND ANIMALS
Emma picked up the "From Head to Toe" book by Eric Carle and brought it to me with a very clear gesture for me to read it to her. What a great moment!
She and Julia now stand in front of me whenever I read to them, paying close attention. With this book in particular, they do the movements when they see the picture. For example, they thump their chests - with fists - when they see the pic of the gorilla, they raise their shoulders for the buffalo, they imitate a monkey (wave arms) and make the sound, clap hands for the seal, and dance for the crocodile (wiggle hips). The above they'll do just by looking at the picture (without any cue from me). They don't "get" the penguin, donkey, and camel, but imitated the giraffe tonight for the first time. I get so excited when I see that they understand.
OTHER MONKEY BUSINESS
We were at the pediatrician for flu shots and Julia and Emma saw the orangutan decals on the wall, pointed to it, made the baby sign for monkey, and the sound. Ada pointed at it too, and although she makes other sounds and says other words, she's never been into the animal sounds or movements. She's definitely more analytical and independent. She will typically be off somewhere exploring and doing her own thing when I read books. Sometimes I can get her to sit on my lap and read with me, but she loses interest and almost always crawls off somewhere to go do her own thing.
Julia and Emma on the other hand, don't miss a beat. They surprised me when I read the "5 little monkeys jumping on a bed" book to them. The previous night, I wagged my finger and made a stern face when the "doctor" says, "no more monkeys jumping on the bed." Then the next night, when I reached that part in the book, both had little index fingers out, wagging, and made serious faces! Too freaking cute.
Julia pointed to a drawing of a zebra on a coffee cup today, and made the sound for horse.
When they see our dog, all 3 will go, "Woof!" They just LOVE being around him now. Julia and Emma are much gentler with the dog and will mostly just pet him or lean against him. Ada will touch him softly for awhile, and then suddenly grab him. His ears and tail are irresistible. We only allow them near the dog in short spurts, and while holding onto them, so we can whisk them away if needed. The dog is a very gentle, docile hound/retriever mix and I'm more concerned that they would hurt him than I am about him snapping at them. Although, I always want to be careful...
PRETEND PLAY
Ada is doing more and more pretend play. She'll "feed" the soft toys with the huge plastic "egg race" toy spoons and say, "num num." Julia and Emma are catching on too, and find it extremely funny when we pretend eat and feed.
All 3 are now "brushing" my teeth with their finger when I brush their teeth. Julia and Emma started doing that a few days ago. Ada did it tonight and absolutely cracked up. She was giggling and then belly laughing. It's hilarious what they find funny.
SNEEZING FOR LAUGHS
On that note: I put them down for a nap earlier this week, and just as I'm heading out of the door, Ada sneezed. So I said, "Bless you!" and then pretended to sneeze myself. 3 girls giggled. So I made another exaggerated pretend sneeze. Bigger laughs. And another. Even bigger laughs. And another. Belly laughs. I kept going for about 10 minutes and ended up calling grandpa and grandma into the nursery to watch, because it was just so.darn.funny.
OTHER RANDOM WORDS
As of this week, all three girls are saying, "ball." Ada has been dropping, rolling, and throwing balls for a long time, but Julia and Emma have only started doing that the past few weeks.
Ada said "kaboom" today when she dropped something.
Julia says, "doekie doekie" for diaper. She tends to repeat words two or three times.
When Emma walks around with a walking toy, she'll say, "Brrrm brrrm."
EMMA's ATTACHMENTS
Emma is much more attached to things that bring her comfort than her sisters. She would walk around with her blanket all day long like Linus if I let her. Because the blanket stays in her crib, she finds substitutes. Sometimes, it's a burp cloth, or grandma's scarf, and today it was her own sweater. She unzipped it herself, took it off, draped it around her neck, and proceeded to parade around like that for the better part of the afternoon and evening. She'll drape something around her, and then walk to the mirror to go look at herself! Such a little princess.
COUGHING
Ada coughed this morning while eating, and I think she might have refluxed slightly. She slapped her own chest while looking at me with an expression that said, "I've got this down, Mom." She must have seen me do that when something goes down the wrong pipe. It cracks me up when she mimicks something we haven't expressly "taught" her.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Sad news from another GGG triplet family
The Younglove family lost their dear sweet Piper to Leigh's Syndrome tonight, just a few weeks shy of her 2nd birthday. Please keep Belinda, her husband, and their surviving triplets, Andi and Bella, in your prayers. I'm just heartbroken for them.
Piper's Story
Piper's Story
Friday, January 14, 2011
A life beyond infertility
I've been too busy to pay much attention to anything but my family and work. My feelings rank very low on the totem pole of priorities. Especially my feelings about infertility.
Of course, with triplets, it comes up every now and then when someone asks whether we did IVF, whether we're done having kids, or assumes we're done, or when I think about what our lives could have been like without the miracle that is my children.
Out of the blue, I heard news today that caused a monumental shift in me. In my perception of self. In how I view where I am in life and where I've been in recent years.
A colleague told me she is 5 weeks pregnant. She is relatively young, this will be her first child, there were no struggles to conceive.
Get this: I am overjoyed for her.
This was the first time ever that I didn't need to be "braced" or "prepared" for such news. It was the first time I didn't have to think about keeping up appearances while crying inside. I am just happy for her. Simply happy. No "woe is me," no jealousy, no anger, no tinge of anything else. Just joy. Pure selfless joy.
So this is what pregnancy announcements feel like to those who arrive at parenthood without battling infertility. No downward spiral. Just a baffling sense of excitement sprinkled with a touch of utter joy.
That unrehearsed moment right there. That's how you know you're starting to come to terms with infertility and its baggage. That's how you know time is passing, that you're shedding some of the injustice of it all, the struggles, the cost, the invasion of privacy, the resentment of those who have it easy despite our own success.
It's pretty freaking amazing and freeing to realize that there's a life beyond infertility. To start tasting what that might be like. To start seeing some protective walls crumble. I always thought having children would make all the infertility crap disappear. And although it obviously does free you from the majority of it almost instantly, it doesn't miraculously resolve all of those feelings of inadequacy or lingering pain. You can have kids and still feel infertile.
Somehow, though, through time passing and building memories with one's children, these feelings start to fade to the background. Until you're faced with a moment like I was today. A moment that makes you confront yourself. A moment that is front and center yet allows you to move on from it. A moment that is undeniable in its magnitude, yet shocking in its simplicity.
This is my wish for anyone still trying to conceive: to have a child or children, of course, but to have a lifetime of moments untainted by infertility.
Of course, with triplets, it comes up every now and then when someone asks whether we did IVF, whether we're done having kids, or assumes we're done, or when I think about what our lives could have been like without the miracle that is my children.
Out of the blue, I heard news today that caused a monumental shift in me. In my perception of self. In how I view where I am in life and where I've been in recent years.
A colleague told me she is 5 weeks pregnant. She is relatively young, this will be her first child, there were no struggles to conceive.
Get this: I am overjoyed for her.
This was the first time ever that I didn't need to be "braced" or "prepared" for such news. It was the first time I didn't have to think about keeping up appearances while crying inside. I am just happy for her. Simply happy. No "woe is me," no jealousy, no anger, no tinge of anything else. Just joy. Pure selfless joy.
So this is what pregnancy announcements feel like to those who arrive at parenthood without battling infertility. No downward spiral. Just a baffling sense of excitement sprinkled with a touch of utter joy.
That unrehearsed moment right there. That's how you know you're starting to come to terms with infertility and its baggage. That's how you know time is passing, that you're shedding some of the injustice of it all, the struggles, the cost, the invasion of privacy, the resentment of those who have it easy despite our own success.
It's pretty freaking amazing and freeing to realize that there's a life beyond infertility. To start tasting what that might be like. To start seeing some protective walls crumble. I always thought having children would make all the infertility crap disappear. And although it obviously does free you from the majority of it almost instantly, it doesn't miraculously resolve all of those feelings of inadequacy or lingering pain. You can have kids and still feel infertile.
Somehow, though, through time passing and building memories with one's children, these feelings start to fade to the background. Until you're faced with a moment like I was today. A moment that makes you confront yourself. A moment that is front and center yet allows you to move on from it. A moment that is undeniable in its magnitude, yet shocking in its simplicity.
This is my wish for anyone still trying to conceive: to have a child or children, of course, but to have a lifetime of moments untainted by infertility.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
3 x 1-year olds = fun, fun, fun
Yesterday, my dad took a semi-deflated beach ball, placed a pretend sunny-side up egg (made of cotton material) on the beachball, and then launched the little egg skyward by slapping the beachball on either side with his two hands. It puts a catapult to shame. It was funnnn. What can I say, we're simple folk.
Today, Ada went to get the beachball where we had packed it away, then she looked for the egg in the toy bin. I could tell she was on a mission! Before I could draw everyone's attention to what she was doing, she figured it out and launched the little egg that it flew to the other side of the playroom. I couldn't believe that she could remember how to put these random things together, and that she knew to hit the ball with both hands to make the egg fly. Then, she repeated the game over and over again. Even with a tiny stuffed animal. She laughed and paused in anticipation every time before the launch! I was so thrilled when she kept doing it, because I'm sure nobody in our household would've believed it.
Julia decided to start walking today. She's finally walking everywhere, turning to change direction and continues walking. She still "runs" into my arms when I'm close, but when I keep my distance, she walks on her own. Julia and Emma like to walk and drink milk simultaneously. It's quite the sight to see them walking together. I can imagine the 3 of them sipping chai tea as they take a stroll when they're teens. Emma's now bending and crouching to pick stuff up with such ease and walking less stiffly. She walks over uneven surfaces like it's nothing. Julia walks wide-legged, precariously balanced, and with some uncertainty still, but she's getting there - and fast.
Ada set a new longdistance crawling record tonight by crawling from the play area, down the hall, to the diaper changing table. She is becoming more feisty by the day and gets VERY upset when things don't go her way.
Today, Emma said "row row" and "pappa" and "daar" (it means "there") when I asked her to point to a particular animal in a book. She whispers words and repeats sounds softly, like she's testing the water first before she'll commit.
Julia likes to learn a new sound and then say the same thing for days. At first, she could have a full conversation with you by using "du-du" with different intonations. (It means to sleep.) As of yesterday, she's saying "me me me." Yes, my dear, it's all about you, LOL. I actually think she's trying to say, "moo" and "miau" which are two animal sounds I've been saying over and over. When I asked her what sound the cow made, she said, "mee-ai" The imaginary cow has a bit of an identity crisis, but at least she's responding to my question with a vocalization! I'll take it.
Ada's been saying "kop kop kop" which means "head." Sometimes it sounds like "kap" which means to "hit." I think she's just trying out sounds.
When I ask Julia about the sound a pig makes, she'll snort like a piggie and crinkle her nose. Oink oink is not in her vocabulary, she imitates the real thing. Too funny.
Tonight, Ada took the "slinky pop toob" and played it like an Australian didgeridoo. She blew raspberries into it to listen to the sound come out on the other end, just like we've been playing. They love playing with the slinky pop toob - it's the best $1 I've ever spent on a toy.
Oh, and Emma hasn't stopped bopping to music since our friends' music appreciation visit. Emma did the cutest darn hip swaying jiggle when I asked her to "dance." She's going to rock a dance floor someday - this girl has some serious moves.
This age is so delightful. The girls are incredibly fun now, and I love that they can ask me to play a game. Julia walked up to me tonight, went and sat down, facing me, and started pulling on my hands to play “row row row your boat.” She even said something resembling "row" for the first time.
This past year has been rough in so many ways, but I feel like we've finally arrived to a place where it seems not only manageable, but utterly joyful. I know we have hard days ahead with tantrums times three, but for now, in this moment, things are good.
Today, Ada went to get the beachball where we had packed it away, then she looked for the egg in the toy bin. I could tell she was on a mission! Before I could draw everyone's attention to what she was doing, she figured it out and launched the little egg that it flew to the other side of the playroom. I couldn't believe that she could remember how to put these random things together, and that she knew to hit the ball with both hands to make the egg fly. Then, she repeated the game over and over again. Even with a tiny stuffed animal. She laughed and paused in anticipation every time before the launch! I was so thrilled when she kept doing it, because I'm sure nobody in our household would've believed it.
Julia decided to start walking today. She's finally walking everywhere, turning to change direction and continues walking. She still "runs" into my arms when I'm close, but when I keep my distance, she walks on her own. Julia and Emma like to walk and drink milk simultaneously. It's quite the sight to see them walking together. I can imagine the 3 of them sipping chai tea as they take a stroll when they're teens. Emma's now bending and crouching to pick stuff up with such ease and walking less stiffly. She walks over uneven surfaces like it's nothing. Julia walks wide-legged, precariously balanced, and with some uncertainty still, but she's getting there - and fast.
Ada set a new longdistance crawling record tonight by crawling from the play area, down the hall, to the diaper changing table. She is becoming more feisty by the day and gets VERY upset when things don't go her way.
Today, Emma said "row row" and "pappa" and "daar" (it means "there") when I asked her to point to a particular animal in a book. She whispers words and repeats sounds softly, like she's testing the water first before she'll commit.
Julia likes to learn a new sound and then say the same thing for days. At first, she could have a full conversation with you by using "du-du" with different intonations. (It means to sleep.) As of yesterday, she's saying "me me me." Yes, my dear, it's all about you, LOL. I actually think she's trying to say, "moo" and "miau" which are two animal sounds I've been saying over and over. When I asked her what sound the cow made, she said, "mee-ai" The imaginary cow has a bit of an identity crisis, but at least she's responding to my question with a vocalization! I'll take it.
Ada's been saying "kop kop kop" which means "head." Sometimes it sounds like "kap" which means to "hit." I think she's just trying out sounds.
When I ask Julia about the sound a pig makes, she'll snort like a piggie and crinkle her nose. Oink oink is not in her vocabulary, she imitates the real thing. Too funny.
Tonight, Ada took the "slinky pop toob" and played it like an Australian didgeridoo. She blew raspberries into it to listen to the sound come out on the other end, just like we've been playing. They love playing with the slinky pop toob - it's the best $1 I've ever spent on a toy.
Oh, and Emma hasn't stopped bopping to music since our friends' music appreciation visit. Emma did the cutest darn hip swaying jiggle when I asked her to "dance." She's going to rock a dance floor someday - this girl has some serious moves.
This age is so delightful. The girls are incredibly fun now, and I love that they can ask me to play a game. Julia walked up to me tonight, went and sat down, facing me, and started pulling on my hands to play “row row row your boat.” She even said something resembling "row" for the first time.
This past year has been rough in so many ways, but I feel like we've finally arrived to a place where it seems not only manageable, but utterly joyful. I know we have hard days ahead with tantrums times three, but for now, in this moment, things are good.
Monday, December 20, 2010
One year adjusted milestones
** MUSIC **
We've been singing songs like "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to death in our house. The "wash the spider out" part is Julia's favorite. I pause just before and she giggles and then waves her arms back and forth. Cracks us both up. Julia and Emma are starting to put their index fingers together to show me they want me to sing the song. When I'm done singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider," they touch their heads to ask for the "Head, Shoulders..." song.
** TICKLE, TICKLE **
Ada loves being ticked. She'll giggle and gasp, then giggle and shriek and then giggles some more. She has the cutest squirm! And when I ask "More?" she gives me the baby sign for more: index finger of one hand against the palm of her other hand.
** WALKING **
Emma started walking on Dec. 5th. By Dec. 20th, she was stll crawling a fair amount, but she could walk halfway across the kitchen, do a controlled turn, and walk back to where she started. As of Dec. 31, Emma is truly walking. Everywhere. Non-stop. She rarely crawls now, and is so much steadier on her feet. She can step over toys and the raised foam mats without falling down.
Julia started walking on Dec. 23. She gives about 10 or so steps before she plops down or falls into my arms. It'll probably be another few weeks before she's as steady as Emma.
Ada used to scoot on her behind, but is crawling all the time now. She is saying "Uh-Oh" when she drops toys. Sometimes she says that even before dropping the toy. It's funny to see her learning about cause and effect. She also watches for our reaction!
** PLAY **
She figured out the stacking cups on Dec. 20. I've seen her fit things inside of other things before, but today was the first time she adjusted the cups - taking them out and trying another one - until they fit. She placed about six of them from big to small, with a few gaps, but "got it" for the most part.
She'll find similar objects and group them. 3 bibs on top of one another. 3 ducks lined up in a neat little row. When she's done playing with the Megablocks they received for Christmas, she'll drop the blocks into the bag one by one. What a great little helper. Ada said, "oupa" on New Year's Eve and that same day she truly started calling me.
** SPEECH **
As of Christmas Day, when Ada wakes up from a nap, she'll say, "Mamma?" like she wants to know my whereabouts. She's been very vocal lately, but not saying a ton of words.
All 3 can point to their heads and noses and belly buttons. Those are the 3 body parts we started with.
We're working on toes and ears, but they don't "get" those yet. They're pointing to everything in sight, and we find ourselves labeling it all. It's exhausting, but wonderful that they're expressing an interest in what they see! Emma does a double point when she's excited. The Christmas Tree lights are two index fingers on the excitement scale, for example. LOL.
Their receptive language is increasing by the minute, but not much is happening on the expressive language front. They understand questions about animal sounds, can point to and identify their grandparents, the dog, lights, the Christmas Tree. We can predict when they're hungry/thirsty, but they don't really indicate or distinguish those yet. They can mimic the monkey movements and shrug their shoulders when I ask about the buffalo.
** TANTRUM **
Ada threw her first true tantrum today (Jan. 1) complete with leg kicking. Her sister had a musical toy she wanted (the blue maraka - see below). When they're tired, hungry, or thirsty, there's a lot of flailing going on. We usually move to the foam mat and start solving the problem - quickly! - because otherwise it spirals into a complete meltdown. The tantrumming can be timed to how tired they are. If one sister takes a toy from another shortly before nap time, the consequences are epic. Crying, moaning, grabbing the toy back, even hair pulling, and if they don't get what they were after, they'll lay down - face down - and bump their foreheads into the foam mat out of frustration. This is sometimes accompanied by kicking, sometimes wailing. It just depends how tired they are.
We don't let that go on too long before redirecting or distracting, but it's pretty hysterical to see how they're "dealing" with frustration. Poor babies. If it's shortly after waking, toy snatching is no biggie, they just move onto the next toy.
We observed Julia trying to express her displeasure by throwing a mini tantrum today. Only problem was she was standing by our coffee table. She leaned forward and gently placed her forehead on the table. No headbanging. She finally figured out that it hurts.
On a related note, when something goes awry and we say, "Oh my goodness!" Julia and Emma will bring their hands to their cheeks or to the top of their heads. Think "Home Alone." I could just eat them up when they do that.
** BONDING WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS**
They are starting to bond with objects like teddy bears. It's too cute - they squeeze them tight into their necks, and even rock them. So sweet. Emma is pretty attached to her blanket too, but only gets to hold it - and suck on the tag - at bedtime.
Whenever the door to the nursery is left open, she'll walk in, go straight for one of the cribs, and pull a blanket out. She is our stealth blankie snatcher.
Ada has a gray teddy bear she seems to favor, and Julia loves the Dr. Seuss character stuffies. They are so gentle with the stuffed toys.
** RINGING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH MUSIC **
On New Year's Day, Emma truly discovered music. Amazing friends came to visit - one who is a musician - and she played a variety of instruments for them: guitar, differently-sized harmonicas (even a peewee one!), a "Woody" toy, spoons, and shakers of every kind. Emma wiggled and bounced and rocked and clapped and danced her way through their visit. She couldn't get enough of the rhythms, rhymes and music.
Towards the end of the visit, Emma stood with both her hands on the guitar, feeling the vibration as our friend played Joh.nny C.ash's "Wa.lk the Li.ne." Emma was mesmerized by the sounds. It was just lovely to watch. After our friends left, we continued playing music, and it was the first time - ever! - that all 3 "hummed" along. Not quite singing or true humming, but they were vocalizing with the music. They all went down for their afternoon nap, and when they woke up, Emma found the maraca again - the blue shiny one - and walked around with it until bedtime. That's 4 hours of walking around with a maraca! Quite the party animal.
Happy New Year to all!
We've been singing songs like "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," "Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to death in our house. The "wash the spider out" part is Julia's favorite. I pause just before and she giggles and then waves her arms back and forth. Cracks us both up. Julia and Emma are starting to put their index fingers together to show me they want me to sing the song. When I'm done singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider," they touch their heads to ask for the "Head, Shoulders..." song.
** TICKLE, TICKLE **
Ada loves being ticked. She'll giggle and gasp, then giggle and shriek and then giggles some more. She has the cutest squirm! And when I ask "More?" she gives me the baby sign for more: index finger of one hand against the palm of her other hand.
** WALKING **
Emma started walking on Dec. 5th. By Dec. 20th, she was stll crawling a fair amount, but she could walk halfway across the kitchen, do a controlled turn, and walk back to where she started. As of Dec. 31, Emma is truly walking. Everywhere. Non-stop. She rarely crawls now, and is so much steadier on her feet. She can step over toys and the raised foam mats without falling down.
Julia started walking on Dec. 23. She gives about 10 or so steps before she plops down or falls into my arms. It'll probably be another few weeks before she's as steady as Emma.
Ada used to scoot on her behind, but is crawling all the time now. She is saying "Uh-Oh" when she drops toys. Sometimes she says that even before dropping the toy. It's funny to see her learning about cause and effect. She also watches for our reaction!
** PLAY **
She figured out the stacking cups on Dec. 20. I've seen her fit things inside of other things before, but today was the first time she adjusted the cups - taking them out and trying another one - until they fit. She placed about six of them from big to small, with a few gaps, but "got it" for the most part.
She'll find similar objects and group them. 3 bibs on top of one another. 3 ducks lined up in a neat little row. When she's done playing with the Megablocks they received for Christmas, she'll drop the blocks into the bag one by one. What a great little helper. Ada said, "oupa" on New Year's Eve and that same day she truly started calling me.
** SPEECH **
As of Christmas Day, when Ada wakes up from a nap, she'll say, "Mamma?" like she wants to know my whereabouts. She's been very vocal lately, but not saying a ton of words.
All 3 can point to their heads and noses and belly buttons. Those are the 3 body parts we started with.
We're working on toes and ears, but they don't "get" those yet. They're pointing to everything in sight, and we find ourselves labeling it all. It's exhausting, but wonderful that they're expressing an interest in what they see! Emma does a double point when she's excited. The Christmas Tree lights are two index fingers on the excitement scale, for example. LOL.
Their receptive language is increasing by the minute, but not much is happening on the expressive language front. They understand questions about animal sounds, can point to and identify their grandparents, the dog, lights, the Christmas Tree. We can predict when they're hungry/thirsty, but they don't really indicate or distinguish those yet. They can mimic the monkey movements and shrug their shoulders when I ask about the buffalo.
** TANTRUM **
Ada threw her first true tantrum today (Jan. 1) complete with leg kicking. Her sister had a musical toy she wanted (the blue maraka - see below). When they're tired, hungry, or thirsty, there's a lot of flailing going on. We usually move to the foam mat and start solving the problem - quickly! - because otherwise it spirals into a complete meltdown. The tantrumming can be timed to how tired they are. If one sister takes a toy from another shortly before nap time, the consequences are epic. Crying, moaning, grabbing the toy back, even hair pulling, and if they don't get what they were after, they'll lay down - face down - and bump their foreheads into the foam mat out of frustration. This is sometimes accompanied by kicking, sometimes wailing. It just depends how tired they are.
We don't let that go on too long before redirecting or distracting, but it's pretty hysterical to see how they're "dealing" with frustration. Poor babies. If it's shortly after waking, toy snatching is no biggie, they just move onto the next toy.
We observed Julia trying to express her displeasure by throwing a mini tantrum today. Only problem was she was standing by our coffee table. She leaned forward and gently placed her forehead on the table. No headbanging. She finally figured out that it hurts.
On a related note, when something goes awry and we say, "Oh my goodness!" Julia and Emma will bring their hands to their cheeks or to the top of their heads. Think "Home Alone." I could just eat them up when they do that.
** BONDING WITH INANIMATE OBJECTS**
They are starting to bond with objects like teddy bears. It's too cute - they squeeze them tight into their necks, and even rock them. So sweet. Emma is pretty attached to her blanket too, but only gets to hold it - and suck on the tag - at bedtime.
Whenever the door to the nursery is left open, she'll walk in, go straight for one of the cribs, and pull a blanket out. She is our stealth blankie snatcher.
Ada has a gray teddy bear she seems to favor, and Julia loves the Dr. Seuss character stuffies. They are so gentle with the stuffed toys.
** RINGING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH MUSIC **
On New Year's Day, Emma truly discovered music. Amazing friends came to visit - one who is a musician - and she played a variety of instruments for them: guitar, differently-sized harmonicas (even a peewee one!), a "Woody" toy, spoons, and shakers of every kind. Emma wiggled and bounced and rocked and clapped and danced her way through their visit. She couldn't get enough of the rhythms, rhymes and music.
Towards the end of the visit, Emma stood with both her hands on the guitar, feeling the vibration as our friend played Joh.nny C.ash's "Wa.lk the Li.ne." Emma was mesmerized by the sounds. It was just lovely to watch. After our friends left, we continued playing music, and it was the first time - ever! - that all 3 "hummed" along. Not quite singing or true humming, but they were vocalizing with the music. They all went down for their afternoon nap, and when they woke up, Emma found the maraca again - the blue shiny one - and walked around with it until bedtime. That's 4 hours of walking around with a maraca! Quite the party animal.
Happy New Year to all!
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
We finally got our act together and bought a tree. Miraculously, we managed to decorate it the same day. Not our usual classic and tasteful clear-glass-ornaments-only tree. Oh no no no. This year, it's gawdy and pimped out, triplet toddler style.
The kids love it, it's hokey, and that's what it's all about.
We even bought new colored LED lights and they are like voodoo magic. Our kids have never watched any television so anything that lights up is pretty novel to them. Ada said, "Whoa whoa whoa whoa!" when she first saw the tree all lit up. Too funny. Julia and Emma stare at it, smile excitedly, and keep pointing to it all day long. They're mesmerized.
We have some unbreakable ornaments on the tree, but mostly just the lights. When they first saw the undecorated tree, they were stunned. If I could interpret their facial expressions, it was something akin to being freaked out that a tree had the audacity to "walk" into their home and "park" itself in the corner while they were napping.
We held the girls in our arms as they woke up, a few feet from the tree at first, because they seemed really startled by the whole thing. As in:
"What the heck? Why is there a huge tree in the house?"
"Look, mommy, a T-R-E-E! A TREE!"
"Mommy, Daddy, A TREEEEEEE. WTH?"
Of course they can't speak in sentences yet, but that's definitely along the lines of what they were thinking.
It was amusing, but being the fabulous parents we aspire to be, we didn't want to traumatize our children or foster negative associations with living things. So we eased them into seeing the tree, talking about the tree, touching the tree, touching the ornaments on the tree, and eventually, switching on the lights. Then all was finally right with the world.
Now seeing the tree is their favorite part of waking up. Ah, Christmas is finally here and it is good.
The kids love it, it's hokey, and that's what it's all about.
We even bought new colored LED lights and they are like voodoo magic. Our kids have never watched any television so anything that lights up is pretty novel to them. Ada said, "Whoa whoa whoa whoa!" when she first saw the tree all lit up. Too funny. Julia and Emma stare at it, smile excitedly, and keep pointing to it all day long. They're mesmerized.
We have some unbreakable ornaments on the tree, but mostly just the lights. When they first saw the undecorated tree, they were stunned. If I could interpret their facial expressions, it was something akin to being freaked out that a tree had the audacity to "walk" into their home and "park" itself in the corner while they were napping.
We held the girls in our arms as they woke up, a few feet from the tree at first, because they seemed really startled by the whole thing. As in:
"What the heck? Why is there a huge tree in the house?"
"Look, mommy, a T-R-E-E! A TREE!"
"Mommy, Daddy, A TREEEEEEE. WTH?"
Of course they can't speak in sentences yet, but that's definitely along the lines of what they were thinking.
It was amusing, but being the fabulous parents we aspire to be, we didn't want to traumatize our children or foster negative associations with living things. So we eased them into seeing the tree, talking about the tree, touching the tree, touching the ornaments on the tree, and eventually, switching on the lights. Then all was finally right with the world.
Now seeing the tree is their favorite part of waking up. Ah, Christmas is finally here and it is good.
Monday, December 13, 2010
One year adjusted
Today is the girls' one year adjusted birthday. Dec. 13 was their due date.
For the past 4 days, all of the girls are on whole milk. We switched Emma back to formula for a week or so (upset tummy), but it turns out it had more to do with the teething than the switch to milk. We weaned them very slowly by adding an ounce of cow's milk per week.
The girls are completely off of Pre.vacid and their reflux is under control. After all the struggles, this is an amazing milestone.
I was nervous about decreasing the Pre.vacid, adding whole milk, and switching to sippy cups all in one go. Staggering it made more sense to me. Just a few weeks ago, the girls weren't strong enough to hold their sippy cups. They couldn't lift their arms above their heads, let alone tilt their heads backwards. We played the following games to death to get them to lift their arms and build their strength: "so big," peekaboo, high five, pat a cake, wearing funny hats, played with sweaters with hoodies, even put small toys on their heads! We made them reach above their heads for anything they wanted. And it worked.
I was becoming very discouraged, because we tried every sippy on the market, including several different straw cups. It was stressing me out, and as badly as I wanted them to move on, they just weren't ready.
In the end, we had to work with transitional cups (with handles and bottle nipples) first, and then we moved to straw cups, and then to sippies. The only way they're able to drink out of the sippy cups is if we take the no-spill valves out (eek! messy!) Now it's finally going very well.
You know, I never thought I'd take their struggles as personally as I do. It's almost impossible not to. Whenever something doesn't just come naturally to them, I feel like I'm failing them. Like there's something I should be doing to make it easier for them. Motherhood is beautiful, but crazy hard sometimes...
Anyway.
They're still taking their glass bottles first thing in the morning and just before bed (we help them hold those), but the rest of the day they're using sippies for water. With their lunch, they drink milk from the tiny little bottles we got from the NICU. Their glass bottles are just way too heavy, and I can't deal with the mess of milk in a sippy cup without a no-spill valve. One step at a time, as I said.
This progress is good enough for me, considering where we were just three weeks ago. We'll be cutting out the morning bottle next, and then take on the last one before bed. Chelle, if you're reading this, I'm right there with you. When kids have feeding issues and were premature, taking it slow seems to work. One battle at a time maxes out my sanity.
With the teething (eye teeth, and first molars simultaneously - oh, the pain!) they are still waking at least once per night. Julia and Emma have started banging their heads as they rock themselves to sleep. We've tried everything to discourage that, but nothing is working. As other moms are removing crib bumpers, we had no choice but to add them. *sob* If you have advice, or can commisserate, please leave a comment. We'll be forever grateful.
Nobody has tried to climb out of their cribs, but we're in the market for crib tents, because, you know, we like to be ahead of the curve. (Yeah, right.)
Emma is walking about a dozen steps at a time. Very controlled, with turns. Yesterday, she stood up without her hands touching the floor. It was mindblowing.
Julia wants to walk so badly. She's taking about 6 steps at time, and runs rather than walks, and then leaps when she gets close to us. She is fearless.
Ada has made tremendous progress. In just 2 weeks, she has gone from pulling up, to starting to cruise. She manages to stand without holding on for a few seconds at a time, and often holds on with just one hand barely touching the object she's holding onto. She has been moving much more freely. Whenever we switch the music on, she looks like she's conducting an orchestra. She sways from side to side, moving her head with the music, while waving her arms, and turning her hands back and forth. She has also started to crawl just a few steps at a time. It's pretty cool.
Ada has the best belly laugh. Her sisters are much more subdued. They crack up, and smile, but don't laugh out loud as often. Emma has been much more pensive from the get-go, and definitely more sensitive in general. Julia seems to need more cuddling. She'll often be the first to walk/stumble to me, her dad or her grandparents and "claim" a hug.
Happy "real" one year birthday, kiddos!
For the past 4 days, all of the girls are on whole milk. We switched Emma back to formula for a week or so (upset tummy), but it turns out it had more to do with the teething than the switch to milk. We weaned them very slowly by adding an ounce of cow's milk per week.
The girls are completely off of Pre.vacid and their reflux is under control. After all the struggles, this is an amazing milestone.
I was nervous about decreasing the Pre.vacid, adding whole milk, and switching to sippy cups all in one go. Staggering it made more sense to me. Just a few weeks ago, the girls weren't strong enough to hold their sippy cups. They couldn't lift their arms above their heads, let alone tilt their heads backwards. We played the following games to death to get them to lift their arms and build their strength: "so big," peekaboo, high five, pat a cake, wearing funny hats, played with sweaters with hoodies, even put small toys on their heads! We made them reach above their heads for anything they wanted. And it worked.
I was becoming very discouraged, because we tried every sippy on the market, including several different straw cups. It was stressing me out, and as badly as I wanted them to move on, they just weren't ready.
In the end, we had to work with transitional cups (with handles and bottle nipples) first, and then we moved to straw cups, and then to sippies. The only way they're able to drink out of the sippy cups is if we take the no-spill valves out (eek! messy!) Now it's finally going very well.
You know, I never thought I'd take their struggles as personally as I do. It's almost impossible not to. Whenever something doesn't just come naturally to them, I feel like I'm failing them. Like there's something I should be doing to make it easier for them. Motherhood is beautiful, but crazy hard sometimes...
Anyway.
They're still taking their glass bottles first thing in the morning and just before bed (we help them hold those), but the rest of the day they're using sippies for water. With their lunch, they drink milk from the tiny little bottles we got from the NICU. Their glass bottles are just way too heavy, and I can't deal with the mess of milk in a sippy cup without a no-spill valve. One step at a time, as I said.
This progress is good enough for me, considering where we were just three weeks ago. We'll be cutting out the morning bottle next, and then take on the last one before bed. Chelle, if you're reading this, I'm right there with you. When kids have feeding issues and were premature, taking it slow seems to work. One battle at a time maxes out my sanity.
With the teething (eye teeth, and first molars simultaneously - oh, the pain!) they are still waking at least once per night. Julia and Emma have started banging their heads as they rock themselves to sleep. We've tried everything to discourage that, but nothing is working. As other moms are removing crib bumpers, we had no choice but to add them. *sob* If you have advice, or can commisserate, please leave a comment. We'll be forever grateful.
Nobody has tried to climb out of their cribs, but we're in the market for crib tents, because, you know, we like to be ahead of the curve. (Yeah, right.)
Emma is walking about a dozen steps at a time. Very controlled, with turns. Yesterday, she stood up without her hands touching the floor. It was mindblowing.
Julia wants to walk so badly. She's taking about 6 steps at time, and runs rather than walks, and then leaps when she gets close to us. She is fearless.
Ada has made tremendous progress. In just 2 weeks, she has gone from pulling up, to starting to cruise. She manages to stand without holding on for a few seconds at a time, and often holds on with just one hand barely touching the object she's holding onto. She has been moving much more freely. Whenever we switch the music on, she looks like she's conducting an orchestra. She sways from side to side, moving her head with the music, while waving her arms, and turning her hands back and forth. She has also started to crawl just a few steps at a time. It's pretty cool.
Ada has the best belly laugh. Her sisters are much more subdued. They crack up, and smile, but don't laugh out loud as often. Emma has been much more pensive from the get-go, and definitely more sensitive in general. Julia seems to need more cuddling. She'll often be the first to walk/stumble to me, her dad or her grandparents and "claim" a hug.
Happy "real" one year birthday, kiddos!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
13 months
I'm done pumping! I never thought this day would come. After many tearful episodes of blocked ducts and mastitis, I can finally say, "good riddance!" The Medela Pump in Style Advanced served me well, but I can't wait to pack it up and reclaim the space next to my bed.
Providing breastmilk for the girls this past year has been a privilege. I was beyond fortunate to have a decent supply of milk. At times, though, it came at a very high cost. Sometimes I just felt so torn when I didn't have enough time to do it all.
I wanted to quit a million times over, especially when I had mastitis. Since weaning isn't something I could do in a day, I had to keep going. And once I got past the rough spot my supply would return, I would find some kind of equilibrium again, and keep going another week and another week and... before I knew it, the year was up.
The girls are finally eating well, so the decision to wean has been easier. We've started the transition to whole milk - they're getting about 75% cow's milk and 25% formula as of today. I'm hoping to switch to all cow's milk next week. So far so good.
They are teething like crazy right now. Top eyeteeth and molars coming in simultaneously for Julia and Emma, and Ada is getting her first bottom molars. It's been a hard week for everyone, with not much sleep. They've been troopers during the day with only occasional fussy periods, but the nights have been hellish.
They are also crazy cute right now which makes up for the sleepless nights. I'm loving this stage. They're starting to play practical jokes. They eat all finger foods/table food, and the only thing they'll let me spoon in their mouths is yogurt and occasionally, pureed fruits. Emma will get this devious expression on her face and then bite the spoon and not release it until she's good and ready. She giggles when she does it and watches in anticipation for my reaction. So cute.
She has learned to lean in for kisses. She will lean in and then hold still until I kiss her on her forehead or cheeks. Tonight she leaned in and kissed her dad when he came home. She didn't make the kissing sound (which she knows how to make), but just kind of pressed her lips against his cheek. Too sweet.
I remember a few months ago when I first realized they anticipate us bringing our heads together for a snuggle. She would hold her head still as I brought my head closer to hers, and then if I stopped and kept my head still, she would slowly press her head against mine. It melted my heart.
This afternoon, Ada had the stacking cups in front of her. When she kicked it with both legs, they made pleasing sounds, so she giggled and kicked kicked kicked them until they were beyond her reach. I watched her and laughed out loud with her, then gathered all the nesting cups and started dumping them in front of her. She thought it was hysterical that I was egging her on and so she kicked with even more passion as she belly laughed at our made-up game. Way adorable.
Julia shrieks with delight whenever I play a game just with her. She loves it when I lift her up (with my feet on her tummy) to play "aeroplane." She is the busiest bee of the three, the most daring by far, and is always busy trying out some new gymnastic move. Julia has taken to doing headstands. I've seen her lift both arms up and pull away her pants so she can watch everything happening around her (upside down, through her legs). She doesn't want to miss a moment of the action, but sitting/standing/walking is way too boring of a perspective on the world.
They are understanding more and more each day, and starting to follow simple commands, like "please hand me that." They've understood "jump" (thank you, Jumperoo)and "hug" for many months now, but I realized today that they also understand, "dance." They jiggled the most adorable jiggle when the music on the activity table started playing. Later, when I said, "dance dance" they all started wiggling their hips and bending their knees. I about died - it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. 3x one-year olds, "dancing" to music.
In other news (sorry, time's short) -
- They are all signing back to me when they want, "more." Mostly for a particular food, but also if they want a particular game repeated.
- They love playing, "Smooth road, bumpy road, hole in the road."
- We have a nanny - and some sanity back in our lives. She is beyond awesome. An OT grad student with tons of childcare experience. Since she' graduating she won't be with us past March, but for right now, my life is complete. My kids adore her, and she is the most attentive, loving person.
- Ada is pulling up with such grace and ease after last week's wobbly start. She is standing so much sturdier now. She still needs to hold onto something, but manages to let go for a few seconds at a time without losing her balance.
- Emma has her first shiner. Julia accidentally knocked her over and she bumped her forehead. Poor baby, her dad said she didn't cry much, but it had to have hurt. She has a penny-sized bruise now that the swelling has gone down. She's my tough cookie.
- Julia took two steps today and then dove into my arms. Emma is cruising everywhere, and so incredibly close to walking. She takes about 3 steps at a time before sitting down gently, or diving into our arms. I love that she sometimes tries to run instead of walk. This happens mostly when she's super excited, e.g. when her dad gets home from work. They shriek and squeel and hustle to get to him as fast as they possibly can.
- Tantrums have begun. Oy vey. Julia will flail, fall backwards and then sob. Emma and Ada tend to lay their heads down gently and then cry. I'm sure the kicking and screaming will come. All in good time. :)
Providing breastmilk for the girls this past year has been a privilege. I was beyond fortunate to have a decent supply of milk. At times, though, it came at a very high cost. Sometimes I just felt so torn when I didn't have enough time to do it all.
I wanted to quit a million times over, especially when I had mastitis. Since weaning isn't something I could do in a day, I had to keep going. And once I got past the rough spot my supply would return, I would find some kind of equilibrium again, and keep going another week and another week and... before I knew it, the year was up.
The girls are finally eating well, so the decision to wean has been easier. We've started the transition to whole milk - they're getting about 75% cow's milk and 25% formula as of today. I'm hoping to switch to all cow's milk next week. So far so good.
They are teething like crazy right now. Top eyeteeth and molars coming in simultaneously for Julia and Emma, and Ada is getting her first bottom molars. It's been a hard week for everyone, with not much sleep. They've been troopers during the day with only occasional fussy periods, but the nights have been hellish.
They are also crazy cute right now which makes up for the sleepless nights. I'm loving this stage. They're starting to play practical jokes. They eat all finger foods/table food, and the only thing they'll let me spoon in their mouths is yogurt and occasionally, pureed fruits. Emma will get this devious expression on her face and then bite the spoon and not release it until she's good and ready. She giggles when she does it and watches in anticipation for my reaction. So cute.
She has learned to lean in for kisses. She will lean in and then hold still until I kiss her on her forehead or cheeks. Tonight she leaned in and kissed her dad when he came home. She didn't make the kissing sound (which she knows how to make), but just kind of pressed her lips against his cheek. Too sweet.
I remember a few months ago when I first realized they anticipate us bringing our heads together for a snuggle. She would hold her head still as I brought my head closer to hers, and then if I stopped and kept my head still, she would slowly press her head against mine. It melted my heart.
This afternoon, Ada had the stacking cups in front of her. When she kicked it with both legs, they made pleasing sounds, so she giggled and kicked kicked kicked them until they were beyond her reach. I watched her and laughed out loud with her, then gathered all the nesting cups and started dumping them in front of her. She thought it was hysterical that I was egging her on and so she kicked with even more passion as she belly laughed at our made-up game. Way adorable.
Julia shrieks with delight whenever I play a game just with her. She loves it when I lift her up (with my feet on her tummy) to play "aeroplane." She is the busiest bee of the three, the most daring by far, and is always busy trying out some new gymnastic move. Julia has taken to doing headstands. I've seen her lift both arms up and pull away her pants so she can watch everything happening around her (upside down, through her legs). She doesn't want to miss a moment of the action, but sitting/standing/walking is way too boring of a perspective on the world.
They are understanding more and more each day, and starting to follow simple commands, like "please hand me that." They've understood "jump" (thank you, Jumperoo)and "hug" for many months now, but I realized today that they also understand, "dance." They jiggled the most adorable jiggle when the music on the activity table started playing. Later, when I said, "dance dance" they all started wiggling their hips and bending their knees. I about died - it was the cutest thing I've ever seen. 3x one-year olds, "dancing" to music.
In other news (sorry, time's short) -
- They are all signing back to me when they want, "more." Mostly for a particular food, but also if they want a particular game repeated.
- They love playing, "Smooth road, bumpy road, hole in the road."
- We have a nanny - and some sanity back in our lives. She is beyond awesome. An OT grad student with tons of childcare experience. Since she' graduating she won't be with us past March, but for right now, my life is complete. My kids adore her, and she is the most attentive, loving person.
- Ada is pulling up with such grace and ease after last week's wobbly start. She is standing so much sturdier now. She still needs to hold onto something, but manages to let go for a few seconds at a time without losing her balance.
- Emma has her first shiner. Julia accidentally knocked her over and she bumped her forehead. Poor baby, her dad said she didn't cry much, but it had to have hurt. She has a penny-sized bruise now that the swelling has gone down. She's my tough cookie.
- Julia took two steps today and then dove into my arms. Emma is cruising everywhere, and so incredibly close to walking. She takes about 3 steps at a time before sitting down gently, or diving into our arms. I love that she sometimes tries to run instead of walk. This happens mostly when she's super excited, e.g. when her dad gets home from work. They shriek and squeel and hustle to get to him as fast as they possibly can.
- Tantrums have begun. Oy vey. Julia will flail, fall backwards and then sob. Emma and Ada tend to lay their heads down gently and then cry. I'm sure the kicking and screaming will come. All in good time. :)
Saturday, November 20, 2010
1 Year Milestones - STTN, eating - falling into place
Our little monkeys are imitating so much these days. I've been showing them how a gorilla thumps its chest. In the beginning, they were only imitating the motion when I did it, but now they can answer the question, "What does the gorilla do?" They are also starting to use the ASL sign for monkey.
Here's the rundown, by date:
October 20
5 days before her first birthday, Ada started sitting up in her crib by herself. She had not been able to get herself from a lying position to a seated position prior to that. Exactly a week later, she started moving from lying down to sitting up and back like it's no big deal. She is so much less frustrated now because she's able to get herself up and down.
The girls know how to give high fives. They're very excited to play the high five game over and over and over again.
They can all respond with motion to, "How big are you?" And lift their arms all the way up to show "Sooo big!" We've been working on their core strength and upper body strength with physical therapy, because they are having trouble lifting their arms high enough to hold a sippy cup.
Julia is now standing and then turning to get from one place to another, and takes a step in between.
We finally realized that when Emma says, “Ai Ai ai” she means, “hi hi hi.” I say it three times, because I’m greeting all 3 of them. It’s funny that she’s picked that up. I’ll just take that to mean she’s greeting me and her two sisters!
They’ve been riding on a rocking horse and a ride-on car toy they received for their birthday. Emma is the only one who managed to elegantly slide off the ride-on toy all by herself. I still have to hold them while they rock and ride, but can now stand back and let go for periods of time.
Emma has been imitating the “neigh” sound I make. She says, “eigh eigh” with the ‘n’. They’re learning about animal sounds, but often she’ll start with the doggy sound she knows and then proceed to the “new” sound. So, in this case, the horse made a hilarious out-of-breath sound and then “eigh eigh” in a high-pitched voice like a horse neighing. It made me crack up.
October 28
Emma figured out how to roll a ball back to me and her grandpa.
They’re constantly taking toys from one another. Sometimes they amaze me with how well they share. It seems they could care less sometimes that their sister has just snatched a toy, and they would just move onto the next thing, but other times it’s all drama and lots of grabbing it back from whoever “stole” it.
Since Ada isn’t crawling yet, she has found ways to get around “obstacles” or remove “obstacles” from her path. If a sister happens to be in the way, Ada will pull them over using their clothes or their bib to get them out of her way. Julia and Emma have cottoned on, so now they just crawl away.
Ada is holding her hands up and reaching out more often to be picked up. October 28 was the first time ever she was downright clingy despite not being fussy/teething/sick. She seemed anxious, and I think she was scared of the sound the new little wheeeee!ls cars made that they received for their birthday. (Update: she’s gotten used to the cars since and will now happily play with them on her own, or with her sisters.)
November 7
All 3 slept through the night! This day happened to coincide with me giving each of them an ounce of whole milk (neat – not mixed in with their formula and breastmilk). Emma liked it best and finished the whole ounce, Ada drank half, and Julia took one sip and decided it was not for her.
November 8
Julia gave her first real step without holding on to anything!
Ada has been pulling up onto her knees this past week. This is a huge milestone as it marks the first time she’s been able to lift herself and bodes well for starting to pull up to stand. Ada said 'go' today. She heard, “Let’s Go!” over and over because they have a little talking racecar that says that.
Julia and Emma are both cutting their top two eyeteeth. It's visible at the gum line. All 3 girls’ faces have changed so much since their teeth started coming in. They look so much more like little toddlers now.
November 9
They’re all repeating the sound I make when I show them the gorilla. Not just the motion of thumping their chests, but also the sound. Julia loves moving her head from side to side, the way I do when I imitate the gorilla. It’s so adorable.
November 10
Ada is lifting her bottom off the floor and getting herself to her knees, often and easily now! It’s only been a week since she was first able to do this and her progress has been amazing.
November 11
The girls have had their 5th – and likely their last - acupuncture appointment. Of all the things we’ve tried for reflux: Preva.cid, positioning, therapy, Dr. Browns bottles, etc. etc. (we’ve tried it ALL!) the acupuncture has had the fastest, most dramatic and remarkable impact. I’m sure they had damage to the lining of their esophagus and now that the healing is in progress, they’re all doing phenomenally well with eating. I can hardly believe how the acupuncture has helped regulate their bowel movements and improve their digestion. It’s been miraculous to watch Julia and Emma ENJOY their food and actually eat decent amounts.
As a result, we’ve just had the 5th night in a row that they've all slept through the night. Acupuncture has changed our lives in every way.
Ada pulled to stand today – totally on her own. It was wobbly, but she did it!
They have all started to imitate me when I blow on their food to pretend that I’m blowing on it to cool it off (I do this to teach them how to blow air through their lips– I don’t really blow on their food…!) So neat to watch them all figure it out.
Ada subsequently “asked” her dad to blow on a toy with a spinny whirly thingy. It’s meant to be a bath toy that spins in the water. She knows it can move if water or air flows over it, so she made eye contact with her dad, tried “blowing” on it, and then handed it to him as if to say, “You do it!” Clever girl.
I’m finally weaning the girls! Now that they’re eating good amounts, and greater variety, I finally feel that I can wean them. I’m down to 1 pump/day. Oh, the freedom, not to mention “found” time . I can’t express how glad I am that I made it to a year. It seemed like an impossible goal, and I was ready to quit almost every day, and certainly every time I had a plugged duct or mastitis. If it wasn’t for the fact that you can’t just quit cold turkey, I would’ve given up a loooong time ago.
Here's the rundown, by date:
October 20
5 days before her first birthday, Ada started sitting up in her crib by herself. She had not been able to get herself from a lying position to a seated position prior to that. Exactly a week later, she started moving from lying down to sitting up and back like it's no big deal. She is so much less frustrated now because she's able to get herself up and down.
The girls know how to give high fives. They're very excited to play the high five game over and over and over again.
They can all respond with motion to, "How big are you?" And lift their arms all the way up to show "Sooo big!" We've been working on their core strength and upper body strength with physical therapy, because they are having trouble lifting their arms high enough to hold a sippy cup.
Julia is now standing and then turning to get from one place to another, and takes a step in between.
We finally realized that when Emma says, “Ai Ai ai” she means, “hi hi hi.” I say it three times, because I’m greeting all 3 of them. It’s funny that she’s picked that up. I’ll just take that to mean she’s greeting me and her two sisters!
They’ve been riding on a rocking horse and a ride-on car toy they received for their birthday. Emma is the only one who managed to elegantly slide off the ride-on toy all by herself. I still have to hold them while they rock and ride, but can now stand back and let go for periods of time.
Emma has been imitating the “neigh” sound I make. She says, “eigh eigh” with the ‘n’. They’re learning about animal sounds, but often she’ll start with the doggy sound she knows and then proceed to the “new” sound. So, in this case, the horse made a hilarious out-of-breath sound and then “eigh eigh” in a high-pitched voice like a horse neighing. It made me crack up.
October 28
Emma figured out how to roll a ball back to me and her grandpa.
They’re constantly taking toys from one another. Sometimes they amaze me with how well they share. It seems they could care less sometimes that their sister has just snatched a toy, and they would just move onto the next thing, but other times it’s all drama and lots of grabbing it back from whoever “stole” it.
Since Ada isn’t crawling yet, she has found ways to get around “obstacles” or remove “obstacles” from her path. If a sister happens to be in the way, Ada will pull them over using their clothes or their bib to get them out of her way. Julia and Emma have cottoned on, so now they just crawl away.
Ada is holding her hands up and reaching out more often to be picked up. October 28 was the first time ever she was downright clingy despite not being fussy/teething/sick. She seemed anxious, and I think she was scared of the sound the new little wheeeee!ls cars made that they received for their birthday. (Update: she’s gotten used to the cars since and will now happily play with them on her own, or with her sisters.)
November 7
All 3 slept through the night! This day happened to coincide with me giving each of them an ounce of whole milk (neat – not mixed in with their formula and breastmilk). Emma liked it best and finished the whole ounce, Ada drank half, and Julia took one sip and decided it was not for her.
November 8
Julia gave her first real step without holding on to anything!
Ada has been pulling up onto her knees this past week. This is a huge milestone as it marks the first time she’s been able to lift herself and bodes well for starting to pull up to stand. Ada said 'go' today. She heard, “Let’s Go!” over and over because they have a little talking racecar that says that.
Julia and Emma are both cutting their top two eyeteeth. It's visible at the gum line. All 3 girls’ faces have changed so much since their teeth started coming in. They look so much more like little toddlers now.
November 9
They’re all repeating the sound I make when I show them the gorilla. Not just the motion of thumping their chests, but also the sound. Julia loves moving her head from side to side, the way I do when I imitate the gorilla. It’s so adorable.
November 10
Ada is lifting her bottom off the floor and getting herself to her knees, often and easily now! It’s only been a week since she was first able to do this and her progress has been amazing.
November 11
The girls have had their 5th – and likely their last - acupuncture appointment. Of all the things we’ve tried for reflux: Preva.cid, positioning, therapy, Dr. Browns bottles, etc. etc. (we’ve tried it ALL!) the acupuncture has had the fastest, most dramatic and remarkable impact. I’m sure they had damage to the lining of their esophagus and now that the healing is in progress, they’re all doing phenomenally well with eating. I can hardly believe how the acupuncture has helped regulate their bowel movements and improve their digestion. It’s been miraculous to watch Julia and Emma ENJOY their food and actually eat decent amounts.
As a result, we’ve just had the 5th night in a row that they've all slept through the night. Acupuncture has changed our lives in every way.
Ada pulled to stand today – totally on her own. It was wobbly, but she did it!
They have all started to imitate me when I blow on their food to pretend that I’m blowing on it to cool it off (I do this to teach them how to blow air through their lips– I don’t really blow on their food…!) So neat to watch them all figure it out.
Ada subsequently “asked” her dad to blow on a toy with a spinny whirly thingy. It’s meant to be a bath toy that spins in the water. She knows it can move if water or air flows over it, so she made eye contact with her dad, tried “blowing” on it, and then handed it to him as if to say, “You do it!” Clever girl.
I’m finally weaning the girls! Now that they’re eating good amounts, and greater variety, I finally feel that I can wean them. I’m down to 1 pump/day. Oh, the freedom, not to mention “found” time . I can’t express how glad I am that I made it to a year. It seemed like an impossible goal, and I was ready to quit almost every day, and certainly every time I had a plugged duct or mastitis. If it wasn’t for the fact that you can’t just quit cold turkey, I would’ve given up a loooong time ago.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A year has flown by
As I was preparing for their first birthday - already 3 weeks ago now - it felt just as unreal as when I first found out I was pregnant, or when we first found out we were having triplets, and those first dazed months after their birth. I just can't believe how fast we have reached this point.
There is something awe-inspiring about the big milestones. They're almost surreal, too big to contemplate. And so it is with a child's first birthday. It sneaks up on you and suddenly it's there, looming larger than life, begging to be celebrated in a significant, memorable way. Which we did. And it exceeded my every expectation: my little forest fairies had their grandparents present against all odds, and enjoyed every minute of being surrounded by our friends and family. Miraculously, no meltdowns. And my reflux-babies ate cake. Chocolate cake no less.
It was important to me to do as much of the prepping for the birthday party myself, to help it sink in. To make me come to terms with them becoming toddlers. To take the sting out of them not being babies anymore. To help me embrace their toddlerhood and move on right alongside them. As I was baking and cooking up a storm, I felt the cloud lift and the excitement set in: we have made it!
When you're raising triplets, it's all about fighting to stay in the moment with everything and everyone pulling simultaneously for your attention. It's hard not to be fully immersed in it, yet you have to be efficient, multi-task and stay 10 steps ahead or else everything comes to a grinding, epic halt. Raising triplets is not the kind of experience that allows for much perspective on the experience. That's primarily why I blog. And that's apparently why I bake too. To keep my hands busy while my head tries to make sense of it all.
Of course I feel extremely happy and fortunate about how far we've all come. There are many days where I'm sad about how fast it has gone (*lump in my throat*), and how little 1:1 time I've had with each of them (*guilt*), despite claiming as much time as I could. After a year of being a mom to triplets, I can truly say I feel like I can conquer the world one day, and that I'm drowning and utterly overwhelmed the next. I don't expect that to change anytime soon. Fortunately, the confident "We can do this" days are now outnumbering the pitiful, "We are hopelessly outnumbered and exhausted beyond comprehension" days.
There have been times that our life has felt entirely unmanageable with sick kids, difficult medical diagnoses, and Early Intervention evaluations and therapy. There have been equally triumphant days where the girls have reached milestones right on target. (More on their milestones in a separate post.) And then there have been plenty of blissful "run of the mill" days of just enjoying my children and getting to know them. Those days that almost seem normal are the ones to cherish.
This year has been an incredible thrill ride, full of the highest highs and the lowest lows one can imagine. It needed to be celebrated for all it was and for all it will never be again.
For the victory over infertility, for surviving the odds of a HOM pregnancy, for closing PDAs and still no signs of ROP, for being discharged from the NICU before Thanksgiving and well before their due date, for Emma's hip displasia resolving, for battling reflux and feeding issues and coming out whole the other side, for getting expressed breast milk for 12 months, for everything, just every single thing. And as much for their sake as mine. Because if we could make it through this year, we can make it through next year.
What gets me through the tough moments - like my one little girl's recent neurological diagnosis - is this: our hardest day with triplets is still a walk in the park compared to facing infertility.
There is something awe-inspiring about the big milestones. They're almost surreal, too big to contemplate. And so it is with a child's first birthday. It sneaks up on you and suddenly it's there, looming larger than life, begging to be celebrated in a significant, memorable way. Which we did. And it exceeded my every expectation: my little forest fairies had their grandparents present against all odds, and enjoyed every minute of being surrounded by our friends and family. Miraculously, no meltdowns. And my reflux-babies ate cake. Chocolate cake no less.
It was important to me to do as much of the prepping for the birthday party myself, to help it sink in. To make me come to terms with them becoming toddlers. To take the sting out of them not being babies anymore. To help me embrace their toddlerhood and move on right alongside them. As I was baking and cooking up a storm, I felt the cloud lift and the excitement set in: we have made it!
When you're raising triplets, it's all about fighting to stay in the moment with everything and everyone pulling simultaneously for your attention. It's hard not to be fully immersed in it, yet you have to be efficient, multi-task and stay 10 steps ahead or else everything comes to a grinding, epic halt. Raising triplets is not the kind of experience that allows for much perspective on the experience. That's primarily why I blog. And that's apparently why I bake too. To keep my hands busy while my head tries to make sense of it all.
Of course I feel extremely happy and fortunate about how far we've all come. There are many days where I'm sad about how fast it has gone (*lump in my throat*), and how little 1:1 time I've had with each of them (*guilt*), despite claiming as much time as I could. After a year of being a mom to triplets, I can truly say I feel like I can conquer the world one day, and that I'm drowning and utterly overwhelmed the next. I don't expect that to change anytime soon. Fortunately, the confident "We can do this" days are now outnumbering the pitiful, "We are hopelessly outnumbered and exhausted beyond comprehension" days.
There have been times that our life has felt entirely unmanageable with sick kids, difficult medical diagnoses, and Early Intervention evaluations and therapy. There have been equally triumphant days where the girls have reached milestones right on target. (More on their milestones in a separate post.) And then there have been plenty of blissful "run of the mill" days of just enjoying my children and getting to know them. Those days that almost seem normal are the ones to cherish.
This year has been an incredible thrill ride, full of the highest highs and the lowest lows one can imagine. It needed to be celebrated for all it was and for all it will never be again.
For the victory over infertility, for surviving the odds of a HOM pregnancy, for closing PDAs and still no signs of ROP, for being discharged from the NICU before Thanksgiving and well before their due date, for Emma's hip displasia resolving, for battling reflux and feeding issues and coming out whole the other side, for getting expressed breast milk for 12 months, for everything, just every single thing. And as much for their sake as mine. Because if we could make it through this year, we can make it through next year.
What gets me through the tough moments - like my one little girl's recent neurological diagnosis - is this: our hardest day with triplets is still a walk in the park compared to facing infertility.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Miss Personality x 3
For the first time last night, Ada called out for me when she woke in the middle of the night. She didn't cry, she didn't make sounds. She just called, "mama" and I went to scoop her up. Who could resist such an incredible moment? I held her for a bit, and she clung to me, then I laid her back down.
She's been sick this past week and it's been challenging at night, but during the day she's happy as can be. She really is a ray of sunshine. So bubbly, with belly laughter, even when she's sick. She giggles and laughs when I tickle her or blow raspberries on her tummy. Since she's not feeling well this weke and she's congested, she's hasn't had nearly as much to drink as usual. She's still getting enough that I'm not worried about dehydration.
Ada is trying to pull herself up, but she's not strong enough to pull to stand yet. We have hardwood floors and even though they've been pulling up and trying to cruise around our furniture, it's been tricky keeping them safe. We've placed a large plastic tub in their play area to give them something to pull up against and cruise around. They love it. We've filled it with boxes of wipes to weigh it down and it's working well because they can't pull it over and can't open it up. There's a surface (the lid) to bang on and stack toys on, and throw toys off of. It was such a simple solution. Their play area has foam matting and it's not a big deal when they lose their grip and keel over. Julia and Emma have learned how to plop down, and even when they fall, they have learned to roll and lift their heads off the floor so as not to bump it.
During the day, they wear dresses with pants or shirts and pants, usually with grippy socks because they get cold easily. Even with the grippies, they still slide around on the wood floor.
**
Julia started cruising this week. She's now bending down to scoop up toys with one hand, while standing. It's so cool to see how fast she's progressing and catching up to Emma who has been doing this for a while.
Julia is our wriggly worm. She was the first to start getting stuck in the crib, and yesterday she squirmed her one arm out of her sleeve. I fear this is the beginning of the end in terms of them undressing themselves and eventually learning to take their diapers off. I'm just hoping we won't get to THAT phase too fast.
Last week she figured out how to climb out of the feeding table seat. Thankfully she didn't get hurt. We purchased better click-seatbelts for the McCourt seats, because they come with crappy slide-through seatbelts that were driving me nuts. We built our own feeding table, but we purchased the seats online.
In terms of talking and comprehension, she has made leaps this week. She's making breathy sounds when I ask her what sound the dog makes. She breathes in and out like a doggy who is out of breath. She is also trying to imitate lots of different sounds, and although they don't come out sounding exactly like what I said, she's getting close, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. Such concentration, and intense focus on my lips.
She is saying "tee tee" for her bottle. 3 nights ago, I was feeding her, and I said "tee tee." Julia finished her bottle (couldn't speak while drinking - duh!) and the moment I pulled out the bottle, she said, "tee tee" and smiled the biggest "I comprehend!" smile. The next morning when I reached to get her bottle, she said "tee tee" again and looked at me, smiling proudly. She definitely gets it now.
Ada and Julia held hands this week while they were drinking their bottles. So sweet.
**
For the past few days, Emma has been saying, "Ada Ada Ada" interspersed with "ja ja ja" which means "yes yes yes" in Afrikaans. A few times, it's sounded like she's saying "ai jai jai" which is kind of like saying oy vey. She said that once after I complained that my coffee was cold! Too funny. It's like she read my mind. LOL.
So many of my friends have commented that she has an impish smile. I couldn't agree more. She is my littlest pixie who is always watching and scheming about her next move. I think she's going to be all sorts of fun "trouble" when she's a bit older, wanting to play practical jokes and figuring out how to get her sisters to join in at our expense. Her personality reminds me so much of her dad. Fun-loving and sweet, observant, but full of mischief and jokes.
She's been sick this past week and it's been challenging at night, but during the day she's happy as can be. She really is a ray of sunshine. So bubbly, with belly laughter, even when she's sick. She giggles and laughs when I tickle her or blow raspberries on her tummy. Since she's not feeling well this weke and she's congested, she's hasn't had nearly as much to drink as usual. She's still getting enough that I'm not worried about dehydration.
Ada is trying to pull herself up, but she's not strong enough to pull to stand yet. We have hardwood floors and even though they've been pulling up and trying to cruise around our furniture, it's been tricky keeping them safe. We've placed a large plastic tub in their play area to give them something to pull up against and cruise around. They love it. We've filled it with boxes of wipes to weigh it down and it's working well because they can't pull it over and can't open it up. There's a surface (the lid) to bang on and stack toys on, and throw toys off of. It was such a simple solution. Their play area has foam matting and it's not a big deal when they lose their grip and keel over. Julia and Emma have learned how to plop down, and even when they fall, they have learned to roll and lift their heads off the floor so as not to bump it.
During the day, they wear dresses with pants or shirts and pants, usually with grippy socks because they get cold easily. Even with the grippies, they still slide around on the wood floor.
**
Julia started cruising this week. She's now bending down to scoop up toys with one hand, while standing. It's so cool to see how fast she's progressing and catching up to Emma who has been doing this for a while.
Julia is our wriggly worm. She was the first to start getting stuck in the crib, and yesterday she squirmed her one arm out of her sleeve. I fear this is the beginning of the end in terms of them undressing themselves and eventually learning to take their diapers off. I'm just hoping we won't get to THAT phase too fast.
Last week she figured out how to climb out of the feeding table seat. Thankfully she didn't get hurt. We purchased better click-seatbelts for the McCourt seats, because they come with crappy slide-through seatbelts that were driving me nuts. We built our own feeding table, but we purchased the seats online.
In terms of talking and comprehension, she has made leaps this week. She's making breathy sounds when I ask her what sound the dog makes. She breathes in and out like a doggy who is out of breath. She is also trying to imitate lots of different sounds, and although they don't come out sounding exactly like what I said, she's getting close, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. Such concentration, and intense focus on my lips.
She is saying "tee tee" for her bottle. 3 nights ago, I was feeding her, and I said "tee tee." Julia finished her bottle (couldn't speak while drinking - duh!) and the moment I pulled out the bottle, she said, "tee tee" and smiled the biggest "I comprehend!" smile. The next morning when I reached to get her bottle, she said "tee tee" again and looked at me, smiling proudly. She definitely gets it now.
Ada and Julia held hands this week while they were drinking their bottles. So sweet.
**
For the past few days, Emma has been saying, "Ada Ada Ada" interspersed with "ja ja ja" which means "yes yes yes" in Afrikaans. A few times, it's sounded like she's saying "ai jai jai" which is kind of like saying oy vey. She said that once after I complained that my coffee was cold! Too funny. It's like she read my mind. LOL.
So many of my friends have commented that she has an impish smile. I couldn't agree more. She is my littlest pixie who is always watching and scheming about her next move. I think she's going to be all sorts of fun "trouble" when she's a bit older, wanting to play practical jokes and figuring out how to get her sisters to join in at our expense. Her personality reminds me so much of her dad. Fun-loving and sweet, observant, but full of mischief and jokes.
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