Day 3 transfer (IVF/ICSI #2)

Instead of waiting until Day 5, the RE recommended that we try a Day 3 transfer with this cycle. "Your body might be a better incubator for these embryos than our culture media," he said, gently trying to reassure me.

He wanted to look at the embies this morning, and then make a recommendation. We discussed our options telephonically, and there was a lot of uhm-ing and ah-ing before settling on transferring 3 embryos today (rather than waiting until the weekend). My gut was saying Day 3 since last month's Day 5 didn't work. He agreed. I'm a big believer in switching things up.

That resulted in a few panicked last-minute call-ins to work, and driving to the clinic in haste. I called the acupuncturist on the way to give him a heads up that I'd be stopping in unexpectedly. Oh, the drama, because both the acupuncturist and my RE had to leave at noon today. We had to get me knocked up - and fast - but without stressing me out. Try that one on for size.

We were there by 9:45, I had a blissful acupuncture session, and then went to the clinic for the transfer. The RE had other procedures in between, so he was doing a retrieval, then an HSG, while squeezing in my transfer. I'm very thankful for his multi-tasking ability, and never making me feel rushed despite all the other patients waiting for him.

Encounters with the spe.culum are never fun, but it's particularly alarming when they "prep" you and then walk out to get the embryos. I always feel tempted to yell out, "Hey, wait up! Come back here! You can't leave me like this!" The RE explained he wants to be sure he can access my cervix and uterus before they get the embryos.

The RE never leaves me alone - all prepped like that - for more than a minute or two before coming back with a nurse, an embryologist, and our embryos. But man oh man. It's still a pretty darn vulnerable position to be in for any amount of time, despite my husband's presence. And trying to relax "those" muscles while you're "with spe.culum." Well, don't get me started.

As with the last cycle, the quality of our embryos isn't good. My RE didn't sound very hopeful that it would result in a pregnancy, but he said he's seen poor quality embryos turn into beautiful babies, and even twins, so all is not lost.

I'd rather be prepared than have sunshine blown up my skirt.

Update after today's transfer - pregnant until proven otherwise

I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning, too excited to sleep, but it might have been a side effect of the progesterone too.

The acupuncture session prior to transfer helped calm me down significantly. Thirty minutes prior to transfer, I took a Val.ium the clinic provided. At least, I tried to. I was alone in the waiting room, retrieved the Val.ium from my purse, and as I opened it, the pill broke into a million little pieces. A largish chunk fell into my purse, some of it was on the palm of my hand, and some powder was left in the pill wrapper. Argh! Gone was the serene calm. I was laughing out loud at Murphy, my constant companion. There I was, licking my palm like a junkie, frantically scratching through my purse to find the little orange getaway nugget, and dumping the rest of the pill wrapper contents onto my tongue. I'm so together.

Needless to say, the Val.ium didn't do much of anything. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't feel a sudden wave of calm or floatyness, nor did it help to relax my muscles (which was the primary reason I was persuaded to take it, because how would I even know to relax my cervix?)

We were soon dressed in OR garb, me proudly sporting crazy rainbow toe-socks this time around. The RE came in, loved the socks, discussed the embryo quality with us, and gave us a picture showing all seven embies. Apparently the embryos weren't doing as great as we had hoped. Although they are all 5 days old, just one made it to blast. The other 6 were all cleaved embryos that may or may not make it to blast.

The RE advised transferring three to four embryos. We were comfortable with three, given my age and the embryo quality. It was the hardest decision to make, because my heart was set on transferring two at most. I'm well aware of the risks of High Order Multiples, but I was swayed by the REs reasoning. The embryologists will continue to monitor the other 4 embies, and that should give us some indication on how the three in utero might be developing. Even though this is not the outcome I had hoped for, I'm still cautiously hopeful as even less-than-perfect embies can become healthy babies.

The RE left us alone for 10 minutes while they prepared the embies, and hubby and I had some space to just absorb the moment. Dh whispered beautiful things to me, while I clutched the photo of our embies. It was perfect.

The transfer itself went very well, and was over much quicker than I had anticipated. The speculum is obviously pretty uncomfortable, but my RE thankfully moves quickly. He pressed down very hard on my tummy with the u/s wand to see my uterus more clearly, but it was still a heck of a lot better than having the d.ildocam inside me every other day. A few deep breaths, hubby squeezing my hand, and then it was over.

The RE had me lay back for another 15 minutes, during which I tried to imagine the embies implanting over the next few days and growing inside me. This is as pregnant as I've ever been.

I went for a 2nd acupuncture session and fell asleep during the session. Calm. Content. I slept for a few hours when we got home too, following my doctor's instructions to "be a couch potato this weekend." Now THAT I can totally do.

Dh has been on pampering patrol - bringing tea, snacks, and pineapple. He will be making dinner tonight. Gotta love men who get it.

Embie update ahead of tomorrow's transfer

We are still a go for a Day 5 transfer tomorrow morning. I'm so excited! I'll be going for an acupuncture treatment directly before and after transfer, and I'm looking forward to being in the moment, and the relaxation that acupuncture will bring. All week long, I've had this inexplicable longing to have my potential babies safely and snugly in my uterus rather than in the cold petri dish. They're not even in my ute yet, let alone born, and I want to snuggle them already.

I've always had a very strong maternal instinct, and knew that I wanted to have kids from a very early age. In fact, I remember telling my mom when I was 5 years old and she was nursing my younger sibling, that I wanted to have kids someday too.

Of the eight embies growing in the petri dish, one arrested yesterday, but seven are still growing. I felt sad and disappointed when I heard that one embie didn't make it. It's somewhat irrational, but I'm already connected to these potential babies.

The 5 Day wait has been excrutiating. I myself was born 3 weeks early, I nagged my mom from age 4 that I wanted to go to elementary school, and this trend continued throughout my life. I graduated high school at age 17, had my first degree before I was 21, and my second degree when I was 22.

I'm the world's least patient person and can relate to Generation Y wanting everything NOW. Good things come to those who wait? No way, man, early bird gets the worm. Yes, yes, early worm gets eaten, I know, but let's focus on the bird, 'kay?

The only upside to a 5 Day transfer is that it has cut down the number of post-transfer waiting days. My clinic's first beta test is two weeks after retrieval, which would be 9dp5dt.

Aah, how far I've come - I remember the first post about IF and TTC lingo and not understanding what the heck those letters and numbers meant! For the newbies: 9dp5dt stands for 9 days post 5 day transfer. Thanks for the rapid education by immersion, everyone.

The fertilization report is in!

The embryologist called with the best news this morning. Of the 13 eggs, 9 were mature enough to be injected with sperm (ICSI). Of those 9, she said, "Eight beautiful embryos are continuing to grow wonderfully."

They have scheduled a Day 5 blastocyst transfer for Saturday, February 28. Beta will be Monday, March 9. Hubby and I are both over the moon.