Retrieval news (IVF/ICSI #2)

You may remember that 13 is my lucky number, and that 13 eggs were retrieved with last month's cycle on Monday, the 23rd. Well, today's retrieval on Monday, the 23rd, yielded the exact same number of eggs: 13.

How very consistent of the universe and my beautifully bloated ovaries. I'm particularly ecstatic with that number, since my ovaries were distorted by ginormous endometriomas just 3 months ago. I never thought we'd retrieve any of my own eggs, let alone 13!

As I write this, I'm acutely aware of so many of you who are contemplating DE, going through a DE cycle, and others who have done multiple DE cycles. Infertility is so unfair, and even as I'm celebrating my victory today, my heart breaks for you. To my friends with Endo who are TTC, if you need an operative laparoscopy or laparotomy, go the extra mile to find the best surgeon money can buy. Seriously.

Dh has much to celebrate today too, as the urologist found sperm with PESA... again! Last month, there was not one motile sperm to be seen after 16 attempted aspirations and four uses of the dreaded gun. We were just happy that they found tadpoles resembling sperm, but none were swimming. Despite ICSI, we ended up with bad quality embryos. Today, lo and behold, the urologist hit the epididymal jackpot.

I was already prepped for ER, complete with IV and heart rate monitors, and anxiously awaiting news. Nothing like sitting there all ready but alone, watching the clock, knowing you'll be ovulating any second, and waiting for news on the sperm front. Tick tock. Tick tock.

My reproductive endocrinologist popped into the OR, silently, but with his hand held up as if to "high five" me. "You won't believe this," he said with a huge grin. "They found lots of beautiful, motile sperm this time!" He went on to tell me how he made the urologist "visualize the healthy sperm" before doing the aspiration. My RE believes in a holistic approach, combines western and eastern medicine, and encourages his patients to go for acupuncture.

"The urologist doesn't believe in that stuff and always pooh-poohs me and my visualizations, but I made him do it anyway!" he said, chuckling. This time, they filled 3 vials with 3 sperm aspirations, and can pick and choose to find the best 13 swimmers to fertilize my eggs.

Hubby came into the OR, gloating. He told me he saw the little guys swimming on the microscope's monitor and how he just couldn't believe it. It is more than 15 years since his vasectomy, and a decade since the failed reversal. We didn't think there were any motile sperm to be had.

Another funny moment was when the anesthesiologist asked me about any prior surgeries. I rattled off the surgeries. "Are you in the medical field?" I laughed, and said, "No." What I was thinking: "No, but I have a degree from Goo.gle."

I soon fell into a happy, Versed-induced "sleep" as Dh held my hand. The ER was over before I knew it. A little spotting, a little cramping, but nothing bad. I didn't need Tyle.nol.

We had left the clinic when the nurse practitioner left a voicemail on the cell. "Nothing to worry about, just give us a call when you get this message," she said. Of course, we worried. We called, and the cherry on top is that they want us to sign a consent form so they can cryopreserve all the gorgeous, extra, healthy sperm. Is this really happening? It feels like I'm living a dream, except I've done my first PIO ever and my hiney is hurting, so it must all be real.

My incredible husband is still on cloud 9. He's the man. Normally, he doesn't say a whole lot on the fertility topic and just kind of takes things as they come, but he can't stop telling me about seeing his own "real, live, swimming sperm!" As in, "not a photo, not a frozen image, not somebody else's. They were really swimming. Fast!"

Can this day get any better?

Home after egg retrieval and PESA

Thank you, all the loyal blog followers, and ICLWers, for leaving such supportive, encouraging and wonderful comments on my blog. It carried me through the anxiety. I'll be commenting soon, but first, here's what you've been waiting for:

Today was a good day. Instead of the predicted 8 eggs, the RE retrieved a whopping, surprising 13 eggs. I'm beyond ecstatic, because they also found sperm during Dh's aspiration. No motile swimmers, but sperm nonetheless.

Since the little tadpoles are being ICSI'd 1:1 into the eggs this afternoon, we could care less that they're not motile. Ladies and gentleman, after 11 years of waiting, we now know we have both sperm and eggs! We will receive the fertilization report tomorrow, but I have a feeling we'll have something to transfer.

Dh's is in excellent spirits despite braving an overnight snowstorm that threatened to derail our best laid plans. We were up at the crack of dawn to be at the clinic at 6:30 a.m. (hey, who can sleep in when your future is about to revealed in spectacular fashion?)

My incredible hero of a husband had to brave 16 needle sticks in his nether region, and the urologist finally used the dreaded "gun" to extract tissue from his testicle. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! I'm cringing for his sake as I'm writing this. He's been up and about since 7 a.m., directly after the PESA. The Novacaine's effects are waning, but he says he doesn't need Tylenol. (He's usually a baby when he has a head cold, so I believe him that he's okay!) Men dealing with MF, take heart. Hubby took it all in his stride. My tough guy.

As for me, I'm feeling unexpectedly terrific! I can remember everything prior to and directly after the retrieval, but nothing of the retrieval itself. Okay, I'm a girl, so I have to tell you what I wore: cute soft babyblue socks with dark blue arrow grippies on them, a most fetching hospital gown, and a must-have blue hair net.

A very sweet nurse put the IV in my left arm (no drugs yet), and hooked me up to the heart rate monitor while she was chatting with me. (My heart rate was beeping way over 90 and rather intermittently - I was scared sh!tless!) My resting heart rate is usually nice and low: 50 to 60.

Hubby commented on the stirrups that look like humongous snow boots. It cracked me up. Yeah! I've reached the summit and the only way forward is to go down at breakneck speed.

I was seated in an upright position while the RE, anesthesiologist and nurse walked us through the pre-procedure questionnaire, consent forms, and post-op instructions. The RE popped in briefly to check on me. He was there just long enough to say, "Hey, how time flies. Can you believe you're in the OR already, just 2 weeks later? We're here to get you pregnant soon... and then get you outta here. Are you ready? Start visualizing that cute baby bump of yours. Can you see it yet?" I nodded an emotional "Yes..." and swallowed tears.

The anesthesiologist clipped the oxygen monitor to my left thumb, lowered me with a warning about how fast it will feel and he even let out a "Wheeee!" like a little boy riding a roller coaster. The roller coaster visual totally made me smile, and you IVFers will know what I mean.

The nurse put my feet in the stirrups, the anesthesiologist then gently inserted the air tube in my nose (weird!), and then I was blissfully gone. Asleep. Hubby, who was in the OR throughout the procedure, said I started saying something, but trailed off in hilariously and embarrassingly incoherent fashion as my eyelids started closing.

I woke up to the sound of, "We retrieved 13 eggs!" It confused me completely, because the number was so much higher than I had anticipated. I confirmed 3 times, "Really? 13? Are you sure?" I was lucid then... just in utter disblief. I thought I'd be out of it, sleepy, groggy, but I was wide awake. The nurse brought me my clothes and while I got dressed, she poured some green tea for the drive home, brought me my coat, and escorted me to the car.

I was awake all day, feeling a little lightheaded, but fine. Hubby and I took an hourlong nap. There are a few light cramps every now and then, but nothing like the sharp, stabbing cyst or Endo pain. It's not even as severe as my regular period pain, and I haven't taken any pain meds.

Anyone who's had surgery or an operative laparoscopy: retrieval is a walk in the park in comparison. Of course, if you suffer complications from retrieval, then that's another matter altogether. But I got lucky today.

The day before retrieval

ICLWers, welcome! Please share your ER stories with me to get me through today. Your comments mean the world to me.

Ahhh! Finally, a day off from injections. I'm feeling optimistic about tomorrow's egg retrieval, and of course a little scared, but mostly excited and calm. I keep telling myself it can't possibly be worse than the Endo lap surgery two months ago.

It helps that today is Sunday, and I had homemade, organic scones for breakfast. I'm listening to good music, visiting IComLeavWe blogs, calling my family and generally just chilling.

Usually, I'm a workaholic stress case, an undeniable type A personality who needs to control everything. It's a new feeling to try to be good to myself, to take it easy, to relax, and to let go. I practiced this approach with great success last weekend (see Sleepy Tiger in Sleepy Clothes post) and I'm working on perfecting it today. I have the week off from work to stay sane between ER and Tx, which bodes well for becoming an IComLeavWe Iron Commenter. A girl has to have goals. ;-)

Dh's aspiration is at 6:45 tomorrow morning. We don't know if they'll find sperm, but the RE said he was so sure they would, he'd give us the cycle free if they came up empty-handed. After 11 years and a failed vas reversal, we'll finally know if the boys are coming to the party.

My clinic does ICSI for everyone's IVF cycles. It's included in their regular IVF fee. I'm relieved they do this on a regular basis, and that we'll maximize our chances if they only find a few viable sperm.

My ER is at 8:30. No food or drink after midnight tonight, and no strong smelling perfume/hair spray/cologne allowed. I use natural products with little scent, so this is good news for me. Strong smells can easily trigger my migraines. Jasmine, hazelnut coffee brewing, strong perfume. Blegh. Makes me instantly nauseous. I can't go near Y.anky Candle or the perfume counter at department stores.

Based on what I've read on the blogs, I'm expecting to do a whole lot of sleeping and cramping after ER... Sounds like a good time.

Stim day 10 - discomfort is the name of the game

I had a really nice nurse for my u/s appointment this morning. She showed me the u/s pictures from Wednesday, and took the time to talk to me while she drew blood. Pretty follicles, but not many, unfortunately. About 6 on the left and 2 on the right - fewer than what I had hoped for. She was very encouraging, though, repeating the "quality over quantity" mantra.

The follicles are growing very slowly, which is good. I'm somewhat frustrated by the thought of having to inject Gon.al-F until Friday. This would mean 12 days-a-stimming... and a partridge in a pear tree. I'm pretty uncomfortable already, and can't imagine what Sunday will bring. Moan, moan, moan. How do you gals who have 20+ follicles handle it? Aside from the occasional twinge, there's no pain, thankfully. The "twinges" are nothing compared to the stabbing pain of Endo and cysts. But, I'm nauseous, with a stubborn, dull headache, and of course, the bloating. Oh, the bloating.

Looks like I'll be triggering Saturday, and heading to retrieval bright and early on Monday morning. I.can't.wait.